Healthy Routines
Helen Eaton • September 15, 2018
Healthy Routines - Less hysteria and ham in the bedroom
Healthy Routines – Less hysteria and ham in the bedroom
It was the third day back at school for this term and I thought I’d got it all worked out. I’d given the kids 30 minutes the night before to sort their stuff out ready for the next day. I was up at six, my clothes in a relatively tidy heap next to the bed, bag packed and ready by the door.
Just before 7:00 am we’re all in the car, pulling off the driveway, with Boy1, Boy2 and Girl strapped in ready to be dropped off at friends’ houses. With Husband away and an early start with a new client, I’m lucky to have friends willing to receive my kids whilst still in their own pyjamas
Two hundred yards down the lane and there’s a scream of frustration from the back seat.
Boy2 is pulling a spare tie from under the seat where it’s wedged. When asked where his main tie is, he replies that it’s in his school bag. When asked where the school bag is, he reveals it was left at Youth Theatre the previous afternoon.
Girl2 has her school bag. Great. But no packed lunch. There was no meat, she tells me, to make her sandwiches with. So, she didn’t bother.
I ask Boy1 where he put the ham and salami that he carried into the house the day before.
“In my bedroom.”
“In your bedroom?” I repeat.
“In my bedroom” he replies.
I wait.
“Perhaps I should have put it in the fridge sooner,” he eventually offers.
That summarises a good start to the day for us, to be honest there are many that are much worse. The impact is stress levels rise, anxiety might kick in and at least one of us doesn’t have what we need for the day. If anyone’s particularly overloaded there might even be a full-on meltdown. All before 8:00 am
No two days are the same in our household. I work all over the country, have extended periods when I’m home based, the children all take part in a variety of clubs and my husband, also with an office at home, works from different sites. So, we’re all relaxed and flexible about what’s going to happen each day. Perhaps a little too relaxed.
I may have a poor grasp on domestic issues, but my brain is always on overdrive. There’s a wide and diverse range of thoughts whirling around - for writing, business opportunities, sorting out the kids’ issues, plans for dealing with a zombie attack (an ongoing obsession) to name just a few. I struggle to prioritise boring details. Such as creating and maintaining sensible order and a list of necessities for each day. I deliver a practical Organising Work and Time training course and know all the tricks of the trade. However, the skill set required to be organised in daily tasks is so far removed from my own that I must work really hard to practise what I preach. Then I get distracted and it falls apart a little.
I’m wary of my children or myself being restricted by some of the obsessive routines that Autistic people are prone to develop, but I really would like to instil some healthy routines. Starting with getting out of the house each morning without at least one lost item, forgotten task or case of mild hysteria. Knowing there’s no meat in anyone’s bedroom would be a bonus. Creating a weekly planner and list of stuff needed each day would be a good start. I’ll make one later…
by Helen Eaton
Through her work, Helen Eaton (MSc, PGCE) has gained an unusual and fascinating insight into both lifelong education and the workplace. She combines over 20 years’ experience delivering management training to the UK’s leading IT and Finance companies with a passion for education and a teaching qualification. Now specialising in Neurodiversity, she has worked with many families and professionals, promoting the importance of understanding and supporting Autism and Specific Learning Difficulties. Most importantly, she has a Neurodivergent family and rejoices in the uniqueness of their Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic minds.
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Hello Welcome to February's Autism newsletter I'll be sharing my news, reminding you to book onto the half-term Autism & Families Talk, and asking for your help. There's a few top tips about socialising, and you can access even more helpful information on my newly updated website. News On the 19th February I will be running another 90 minute Autism & Asperger's Family session in Chippenham. This is a great way to learn more about Autism and parents, carers, relatives and friends are all welcome. Book tickets online and children can attend for free with an adult ticket. It's also a chance to meet other families with similar experiences and full details are at the end of this newsletter. This Spring I'll be returning to Wiltshire Wildlife Trust's care farm to deliver staff training. I'll also be running a session for Doorway, who provide drop-in services for homeless and marginalised adults. I'm looking forwards to delivering the Neurodiversity in the Workplace training for QA Ltd in London and Manchester. I developed this course for QA and it'll be great to see how managers and team leaders respond. I'm also still attending the Wiltshire Autism Board meetings, which help shape Autism services across the county. As I'm so passionate about excellent provision I do tend to challenge the ideas and reports presented, but I'm pleased to see progress is starting to be made. Services I offer talks, public event speaking, workplace training and school visits. My updated website www.heleneaton.co.uk details the services I offer. I can bring Autism to life with an enjoyable and informative talk or training session. I'd appreciate your help this month. I'm looking into providing a teens Autism social group - it may be challenging but hopefully exciting to set-up. If you have any experience in this area please let me know. What sort of services and information do you need? What would you like to see on my website? Would Autism mentoring sessions help you, with online chats to help you support an autistic person at home? Get in touch … info@heleneaton.co.uk Socialising There's lots of useful information on my website, and I thought you might appreciate a few tips. We can make it easier for Autistic children to socialise : · explain what is happening, how long it will last and how it will end, e.g. a party · build in an ‘escape plan’ - it may not be needed but it’s reassuring to know it’s there · let them play freely at their own pace in their own way, avoiding being overly critical · build in opportunities to learn about sharing, turn taking and asking people for things – all useful life skills · allow time to rest and recover after social activities · actively celebrate success - if an Autistic child realises something went well, and they feel good about it, they are more likely to try it or something else new · remember that what is fun for us isn’t necessarily fun for someone else. We all have different versions of fun. · finding a balance - enough socialising to feel wanted, loved and able to enjoy time with other people, but not too much so that they feel overwhelmed or panicked Please share this newsletter, let others know about my website and follow me on social media - it's always much appreciated! Helen
Specific Learning Difficulties include: Dyslexia Dyspraxia Dyscalculia Dysgraphia Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) SLDs affect learning and the way information is processed by the brain. They are different to ‘Learning Difficulties’ as intelligence is not affected and there is an identifiable and very specific difficulty They are often described as hidden disabilities and may go undiagnosed and unsupported. Constantly struggling in school or work can lead to tiredness, low self-esteem and anxiety. Extra effort and energy is need to complete everyday tasks and this can be exhausting. This may cause people to avoid important or difficult things, making it much harder to catch up. With the right support and learning people with SLDs can achieve great things, as they often have a wonderfully different way of seeing and thinking about the world. ADHD A behavioural condition that makes it hard to concentrate and control energy, actions and decisions. Caused by a chemical imbalance, the symptoms may be relived through medication. This can lead to hyperactivity, impulsiveness and risk taking. Professional advice for prescriptions must always be sought, as there are side effects and the doses must be correctly calculated and monitored. Dyslexia Difficulties with the range of skills needed for reading and spelling, along with verbal memory and processing. Specific tuition can help with techniques to help, and these strategies can provide lifelong help. Dysgraphia A difficulty with the physical act of writing which may also be painful. Dyspraxia A development disorder which affects fine and gross motor skills, which are needed for everyday tasks and movements. Physical exercises can help improve skills and co-ordination. Dyscalculia This means that people may struggle to understand maths, patterns, time and measurement. Again additional support and tuition may help develop these skills.
Autism is a developmental condition which means the brain develops differently, causing a person to experience and process the world differently to a typical person. An Autistic person may struggle with: - Social communication, e.g. recognising facial expressions and body language - Social interaction - Understanding social rules, behaviour, and adjusting for different social settings - Strong need for fixed routines, specific interests and hobbies - Recognising and managing emotions - Building and maintaining relationships - Difficulties processing sensory information - Changes, transitions and new places The world is very loud, colourful and demanding of all of our senses. There are lots of social expectations and interactions which can be confusing. Everyday life can be very stressful and overwhelming for Autistic people, who experience the world in a different way to non-Autistic people. Understanding and acceptance of differences is key to success, along with effective support strategies and adjustments. There are 3 levels of Autism diagnosis, depending on the level of support required and how much daily functioning is impacted. Many Autistic people have full and successful lives and careers. The world benefits greatly from Autistic thinkers as they’re often creative, innovative and great problem solvers. The don't always work to the usual social and logic boundaries, often challenging 'normal' thinking and rules. A diagnosis of Autism is given by observing behaviours and asking questions. If a child behaves with a mix of social and communication difficulties, routine or ritualistic behaviours and sensory difficulties it suggests the brain is developing in a way that is defined as Autistic. It is also true that some Autistic people may need care throughout their lives because they also have additional disabilities and learning difficulties. Asperger's Syndrome was the name given to a specific type of Autism until just a few years ago, and is now known as High Functioning Autism These Autistic have average or above average intelligence and are viewed as ‘high-functioning’ although they still experience the same difficulties as other Autistic people. Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a type of behaviour within Autism, although currently rarely formally diagnosed. Anxiety may cause those with PDA to avoid every day requests to an extreme degree, and they may appear controlling and difficult as they struggle to respond to expectations and demands.
Hello In this newsletter I'll share some Autism statistics that might surprise you, let you know what I've been up to, what's coming soon, along with some information about me. There's a good chance you haven't yet met me, and so an introduction and explanation about what I do and why I do it might be helpful. Autism Top Tip = Keep It Visual! By this I mean it's easy for an Autistic person to become distracted or overloaded by everything that's going on them. Using anything visual - photos, videos, icons, diagrams - is a great way of sharing information and instructions. Visuals are also consistent, long-lasting and have a low sensory impact (they don't talk back!). So remember to don't just say it - show it! I take photos of everything I need to remember, so I can look back on them in my own time. I actually find photography very calming and enjoyable, and always use my own images on my website and emails. Nature's colours at this time of year are spectacular. Why is understanding Autism important? There is clear statistical evidence that understanding Autism is incredibly important, based on the number of Autistic people, the lack of knowledge in recognising and supporting autism, and the lengthy impact of long delays in receiving a diagnosis. It's important to know that after diagnosis many families are waved away from the consultant with simply a few information leaflets and no further support. If we all increased our knowledge and understanding of Autism, hundreds of thousands of lives could be improved in the UK. In the UK there are around 100,000 children diagnosed as Autistic, with many more still undiagnosed due to a number of factors, (including reluctance, mis-diagnosis, lack of knowledge). Around 70% of Autistic children are in mainstream education. In England the average waiting time to start diagnostic assessments was 4 months in 2016, with the longest waiting time in 2017 being 26 months. (British Medical Association) The time taken to actually issue a diagnosis is significantly longer. Research suggests less than 16% of Autistic people are in employment, are often overqualified and over skilled for the roles that they’re in. My own experience has shown me that many schools don’t fully understand the needs of Autistic children, leading to high levels of distress in the classroom, exclusion, and families choosing to home educate. Who am I? The most important things to say is that I live and breathe Neurodiversity every single day. None of my family think or process the world in a typical way, and I can trace Autistic traits, Dyslexia, and more throughout my family tree. I’ve spent the last 15+ years delivering leadership and business skills training to some of the UK’s leading finance and technology companies. In 2011 I gained a Post Grad qualification in Primary teaching. After one of my own children was diagnosed as Autistic, I then began to specialise in Autism. For 18 months I worked as a trainer for a leading Autism social enterprise, delivering webinars and workshops across the South West. During that time I was very privileged to be a guest on Michael Rosen’s BBC Radio 4 Word of Mouth show, talking about Autism and communication and I have spoken at a NAS Conference on Autism and socialising. I went on to launch my own Autism business in 2018. What do I offer? Workplace training on Autism and SLDs School staff training Assemblies and classroom talks Public speaking for groups, events and conferences Leadership and Business skills training incorporating Neurodiversity Total SDI™ profiliing, team building and conflict skills Why do I do what I do? Nothing can replicate the wonderful feeling I get when I hear that the work I’ve done has made a positive difference to a family or individual. I also love walking out of a classroom or training room knowing that I have increased knowledge and understanding. I also work to dispel the myth that we are all a little bit Autistic. We are not. Autistic traits are human traits that we all recognise, but for Autistic people they can be present to such an extreme degree that some everyday tasks become impossible. Thinking differently has led to my own life successes and I see the same in my children. I want to help develop opportunities for Autistic people to live and work to their potential, and remove the unnecessary barriers society puts in place. The smallest of changes can make the greatest of differences. I currently don’t receive any funding or grants for the work that I do, and so charge a fee for my services. I also continue with my leadership training work, as that offers lots of exciting opportunities for me to develop my skills even further. Here are some of the topics I talk and write about: Autism in adults and children Sensory needs Autism and education Autism in girls and women ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Dysgraphia, Dyscalculia Self-care, staying organised and developing healthy routines Developing emotional awareness and managing emotions Managing stress, anxiety and meltdowns Friendships, relationships and social understanding Challenging behaviour and support strategies Please do get in touch if you would like more information or have any questions.