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Autism and the return to school and work

helen.eaton@hkeaton.co.uk (Helen Eaton) — Tue, 31 Aug 2021 21:28:29 GMT

How to help with new challenges

New beginnings and old routines

September is often a month of new beginnings. It’s the transition from summer holidays, whether or not you’ve been away yourself, and a return to school and workplaces. It feels like a time to get back to the serious stuff - learning and work.

For Autistic people this can be a particularly challenging time. They may be:

leaving behind happy summer routines
uncertain of what’s happening next
not sure what’s expected of them
returning to a place that doesn’t make them happy or feels unsafe

These worries can all lead to avoidance behaviours, anger, sadness and anxiety.

How to help:

provide as much information about the changes as possible
identify similarities, things they already know and do, and offer support for changes in routine
for new places visit the outside, explore the area, have a look inside at quiet times
let them know how to get help if they feel overwhelmed
you can’t plan for everything, but preparing for the key changes will help reduce anxiety
delve into what they are actually worried about, e.g. refusing PE lessons might just be the getting changed part, or a fear of close contact games
plan to reduce the sensory input and find a quiet safe space to use if needed.

Sensory overwhelm can come from (but is not limited to) background or loud sounds, visual input, artificial lighting, tastes, smells of food, things or other people, touch, seating position, clothes and textures, movement, being crowded, being touched… the list is endless! Look at each person’s sensory needs and make adjustments. The more tired and anxious a person is, the less able they are to cope with the everyday sensory world around them.

If you are Autistic:

ask for reasonable adjustments and accommodations for your needs and preferences
break the changes up into small chunks to prevent overwhelm
find ways to keep comfortable routines
don’t over focus on the things you can’t do, focus on what you can
build up slowly into moving into new places or routines
remember you are more capable than your fears and anxiety would have you believe

Best wishes to you all with the changes ahead

Helen

New Mentoring services available

helen.eaton@hkeaton.co.uk (Helen Eaton) — Tue, 31 Aug 2021 21:23:26 GMT

A chance to talk and share your concerns

Hello

I’m very excited to be sharing news about my new Family Mentoring Service with you.

The newly extended online talks are also available to book online, along with the ever popular free Autism in the Classroom talks.

Who is the mentoring service for?

My family mentoring service is suitable for parents or carers who would like to:

share their concerns
better understand their autistic child, teen or young adult
have a goal focused approach to making positive changes at home or school

What is it?

a private mentoring service
online discussions to establish concerns and goals
conversations to identify possible options to better support autistic young people

What is it not?

counselling, therapy, psychology or psychiatric service
medical advice or recommendations
suitable for children with complex medical needs
an assessment or diagnostic service

What happens?

Choose a time and date to best suit you and then book an initial online consultation using the calendar on my website

What is the cost?

The initial consultation is £60.00 for 90 minutes

Each 60 minute session after that will be £45.00.

You can choose the amount of sessions to have, but the recommendation is to have at least 4 sessions within an 8 week period.

Who am I?

I have been a professional trainer for nearly 20 years. I now specialise in autism and neurodiversity, having trained well over a thousand people over the past few years, through classroom sessions and online talks. I have a post graduate qualification in primary education and continue to maintain my knowledge through reading, research and attending professional events.

Please note I do not support or condone Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) or related therapies and I will not engage in conversations about such therapies.

Christmas Top Tips

helen.eaton@hkeaton.co.uk (Helen Eaton) — Mon, 14 Dec 2020 10:48:46 GMT

Hello

I hope you are well and safe, and your plans for the Christmas break are not proving too stressful.

It may be a very different end to the year than you would have wished for, but I hope you can all find joy in this festive season.

As we get closer to Christmas it’s worth remembering not everyone experiences the festive season in the same way. If you have an autistic family member or if you are autistic:

• work together to embrace everyone’s needs

• give and take is important - spend some time doing what somebody else wants, and they can do the same for you

• explain what’s happening - include why, when, where and how long it will last

• not everyone loves a surprise - presents can be planned and bought together

• prepare for quiet and calm times before and after excitement

• don’t put pressure on yourself to achieve ‘Christmas goals’

• small moments of joy are better than a day packed with expectations and disappointments

Best wishes to you all xxx

Autism & Self-confidence

helen.eaton@hkeaton.co.uk (Helen Eaton) — Sun, 02 Aug 2020 13:26:12 GMT

Autistic people and self-confidence

You can listen to the extended version of this article in a podcast , as part of the Helen Eaton - Autism & Neurodiversity podcast series.

Self-confidence is about recognising our own worth, abilities and potential. It gives us the ability to do everyday things. To trust in ourselves. To try new things or keep on doing the same things.

I believe self-confidence is an issue for autistic people and is often more complex than for neurotypical / non autistic people due to the social and communication challenges involved.

For some Autistic people self-confidence may not factor so much in their lives. Perhaps they don’t have the cognitive ability to recognise or measure self-worth, or it simply doesn’t concern them. For the many autistic people who are functioning in day to day life with partial or full independence, self-confidence is an incredibly important thing to protect and develop.

If you have low levels of self-confidence, you’ll stay in your comfort zone, and whilst that sounds very comfortable and a very nice place to be, it may become narrow and limiting. Comfort zones tend to shrink over time if a person doesn’t have the confidence to move out of them. Adding to that autistic people’s tendency for routines, perhaps opportunities and everyday tasks will be avoided. This may lead to more isolated lives, which in turn may lead to increased vulnerability and mental health issues.

If you have low levels of self-confidence, you’re likely to be constantly worried about mistakes and feel highly anxious. You might behave constantly to other people’s standards and expectations, feeling constantly judged, and often a failure.

You may mask, and so hide behind a fake version of yourself. I’ve seen autistic teens in particular adopt whole new looks – hair, makeup clothes, likes and ways of moving and speaking that aren’t naturally theirs in order to fit and meet other people’s standards . They weren’t confident enough to live as themselves. That’s exhausting and can only worsen a person’s self confidence in the long term.

I sent out a quick survey via social media, and whilst by no means scientific, the results were interesting, with responses from a wide range of people, including autistic adults and teens, parents, education and medical professionals.

In the survey 100 % agreed or strongly agreed that it is important for autistic people to have positive levels of self-confidence, and 80 % felt that Autistic people’s self-confidence is worse or much worse than non-autistic people. Communication, social skills and mental health in particular being the areas where self-confidence was reports as lowest.

Where does self confidence comes from?

Internally it’s from our own ability to see ourselves in a positive light. Being able to say I did that well, I’m good at that, what I did was good enough. It’s not all about winning, though, instead lots of small positive experiences build a strong framework of self-confidence.

I sometimes describe it as having an inner cheerleading squad. Whenever you’ve achieved something, be it passing an exam or remembering to post a birthday card, or remembering to untuck your skirt from your pants when you leave a coffee shop loo ( that one is very much for me), line that cheerleading squad up and let them cheer for you. You can pick your own cheerleading squad – mine occasionally contains the characters from superhero movies, all waving pompoms and cheering “Yay, Helen you did it”. The imaginary cheerleading squad is a way of reminding yourself to recognise your own strengths and abilities.

If we don’t spend time looking at the positives we can be overwhelmed by the negatives. The ability to view yourself positively might perhaps be a genetics thing, the way your brain is designed. But it’s definitely something we can work on and improve.

Self -confidence can also come from the people around you. If you’re constantly hearing critical messages you start to believe them, and they begin to shape who you are. There’s the unspoken stuff too – the stares, the tuts, the impatience when you take too long to do something, or don’t behave as expected.

People whose brains work in typical ways can struggle to understand, appreciate and support autistic behaviours, communication styles and general ways of being. That can really dent your confidence if the majority of people constantly signal or suggest that you are not doing it their way and therefore not doing it right.

In the survey I asked for experiences which had a real-life negative impact on an autistic person’s self-confidence.

Between 40% - 72% of people had experienced the following :

• Other people’s behaviour towards the autistic person

• School staff attitudes and opinions

• General public, family and colleagues’ attitudes and opinions on Autism

• Educational and local authority policies for Autism

• Difficulty accessing learning at school

• Family attitudes and opinions

• Social media and TV

Their personal stories shared carry very powerful messages:

“My son thinks he’s stupid because he’s not understood by his friends"

“Other people’s perceptions and expectations towards my son …. They often overlook him because he’s very quiet, and strongly lacks confidence in speaking with more than one person at a time.”

“My peers at school constantly make jokes about autistic people and talk about them very negatively . I constantly see hurtful comments on YouTube and negative portrayal in the media.”

“When given unclear instructions and then being told off for not doing the task.”

“.. at the end of job interviews when I’ve informed people about my autism they react as if I was about to wet myself.”

“Negatively affected by many years of constant poor interactions with school staff, and inadequate SEN provision which has resulted in always feeling left out of things / unable to be like everyone else or belonging.”

“Lots of media and public perception is very simplistic and can leave people diagnosed feeling they are less than normal rather than just a bit different with their own strengths.”

Improving self-confidence

Self-confidence is about trusting your own skills, knowledge and abilities. Firstly, you have to know what these are, and have the opportunity to use them. When you use them, you need to be able to recognise you’ve done well, and it helps if other people tell you too. Next time you will feel more secure and confident enough to do the thing again. And perhaps try something else new.

Regularly celebrate everything about yourself or your Autistic loved one. Your list could include being great at :

• Tying shoelaces

• Giving hugs

• Cooking pasta

• Creating new recipes

• Mowing the lawn

• Listening to friends

• Typing

• Dancing freely

• Taking photos

• Developing apps

• Running projects

• Making financial decisions

Create some challenges as a chievements build self-confidence. If you don’t get there the first time, you’ll have learnt how to get there next time and that’s fine.

• Today I will walk 50 steps more than yesterday

• Today I will lean a new word

• Next week I will listen to one chapter of a new book

• Next month I will know how to boil eggs

Positive role models are key – be they Autistic or not. There are some marvellous Autism advocates out there, and it’s good to see others celebrating differences and sharing their experiences.

Stop comparing yourself negatively to others. You can aspire to learn the skills and knowledges of others, but it’s not healthy to compare yourself. Have a good look at the things you think you need to change about yourself. These things are limiting your self-confidence and very often are just in your own mind, not genuine barriers to success. I give some examples of this in the podcast.

You can reframe and rewrite negative messages rather than let them hinder you or lower your self-confidence. That can be very hard when a negative message comes from someone you love and trust – it is still doable. An example is recognising what has been said is through their perspective or worries and not relevant to you. You may recognise that was something said with good intent but poorly delivered and so should not be worried about.

If you are the partner, family member or carer of an autistic person ensure you’re not transferring your confidence issues onto them. The things that worry you, the social pressures you feel, the mistakes you don’t want them to make in case they’re judged by others .… things that may not be relevant to them .

Limit social media use and go beyond just taking a day off from twitter. Validating yourself through likes, comments and shares is proving to be very unhealthy with lots of research and real-life stories out there to support this.

These suggestions are a starting point for autistic people to rethink self-confidence and perhaps make some positive changes.

Please remember I am a trainer and public speaker, and so recommend that you always seek professional medical advice and support if you are concerned about yourself or another person.

'Arna & Ruby - An Autism Story' is an excellent graphic novel learning resource for older children, teens and adults and is available to buy now

June 2020 Newsletter

helen.eaton@hkeaton.co.uk (Helen Eaton) — Mon, 08 Jun 2020 11:46:20 GMT

Hello

I hope you are well during these difficult times. June is a beautiful month and I'm enjoying looking at all of the glorious roses in bloom on my walks. The flower photo at the top of this email was chosen by my lovely Facebook followers. It's in my garden, although I have been know to stop by other people's gardens and take photos of their flowers too!

In this month's newsletter I offer some tips for managing uncertainty. Sadly, I'm currently seeing that lots of Autistic people are really struggling with the uncertainty of the Covid-19 situation.

Autism and uncertainty also features in my latest podcast. You can listen on iTunes and Soundcloud. Don't forget to follow me, share and rate me on these apps, as it all helps other people find them. Click on the buttons at the very bottom of this page to find my social media links.

Top tips for dealing with uncertainty

- Whenever there’s uncertainty try saying “it may be different but it could also be okay. It might even be better.”

- Avoid catastrophising (presuming the very worst). Take your thoughts down a different and more pleasant path.

- If you’re struggling take each day at a time. Live through that day, and do things rather than worry about things.

- Think about what you can control and influence. There are lots of great books and resources out there on circles of influence and control. For example I know I can’t control Covid-19. What I can control and influence is sensible hygiene practices in my home, and the choices I make about socialising.

- Don’t fill in your own blanks where there’s uncertainty – get accurate and reliable information. Try and balance that with not obsessing over news story and the latest lists of Covid-19 statistics.

- Always seek professional help if your fears and anxieties are overwhelming you to the point that you are struggling more than usual.

In my new book, Arna struggles with the uncertainty of school and becomes overwhelmed with anxiety, which explodes into anger. 'Arna and Ruby - An Autism' story can be ordered on my this website's shop page and on Amazon. It's a graphic novel and a fully illustrated guide to Autism, perfect for older children, teens and adults.

I hope you stay safe and well.

Regards

Helen

May 2020 Autism Newletter

helen.eaton@hkeaton.co.uk (Helen Eaton) — Mon, 08 Jun 2020 11:46:17 GMT

Hello

I hope you are well and staying safe. This newsletter includes some top tips for home schooling Autistic children.

Being at home means I've been able to focus on my 'Arna and Ruby - An Autism Story' graphic novel launch and releasing my first podcasts. This is all in between homeschooling 3 teenagers, walking 2 dogs and practising some Spanish grammar (one of my hobbies!).

This beautifully illustrated and informative book is for sale on my website, where you can also listen to the podcasts for free. The first podcast is a lovely introduction to Autism and the second is about social anxiety and social expectations.

Top Tips for Autistic children learning at home (great for all children too! )

- Remember you are not your child's teacher. Learning is more than just doing it the right way or getting it right the first time. It's about exploring, testing and trying new ideas.

- It's better that the school sees your child's efforts, and sees where they're struggling, rather than helping them submit perfection

- Prioritise the subjects that are important for your child, and don't try and achieve everything.

- Create a loose structure if you can to the day, e.g. schoolwork is between 10am - 2pm. This means there's some flexibility to the day if needed.

- Encourage lots of short regular breaks, every 30 - 40 minutes or so

- Timers, small chunks of work and check lists can help them stay focussed.

- Don't battle over the things that don't matter. Learning skills and useful facts can be done anywhere, anytime and in any clothes ( even PJs). It's all about making your child feel comfortable and safe enough to learn.

- Now's a great time for new and old special interests. Expand what they can learn beyond the school curriculum, and follow any interests in as much detail as they want.

- Make something - a scrapbook, blog, website or photo album of the things they've learned, as a record of achievement.

- Celebrate every success no matter how small!

- Don't forget some fun stuff too! Do the things they like doing together, and share what you're doing too.

Best wishes and take care

February 2020 Newsletter

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 19:35:25 GMT

Hello

Welcome to February's Autism newsletter

I'll be sharing my news, reminding you to book onto the half-term Autism & Families Talk, and asking for your help. There's a few top tips about socialising, and you can access even more helpful information on my newly updated website.

News

On the 19th February I will be running another 90 minute Autism & Asperger's Family session in Chippenham. This is a great way to learn more about Autism and parents, carers, relatives and friends are all welcome. Book tickets online and children can attend for free with an adult ticket. It's also a chance to meet other families with similar experiences and full details are at the end of this newsletter.

This Spring I'll be returning to Wiltshire Wildlife Trust's care farm to deliver staff training. I'll also be running a session for Doorway, who provide drop-in services for homeless and marginalised adults.

I'm looking forwards to delivering the Neurodiversity in the Workplace training for QA Ltd in London and Manchester. I developed this course for QA and it'll be great to see how managers and team leaders respond.

I'm also still attending the Wiltshire Autism Board meetings, which help shape Autism services across the county. As I'm so passionate about excellent provision I do tend to challenge the ideas and reports presented, but I'm pleased to see progress is starting to be made.

Services

I offer talks, public event speaking, workplace training and school visits. My updated website www.heleneaton.co.uk details the services I offer. I can bring Autism to life with an enjoyable and informative talk or training session.

I'd appreciate your help this month. I'm looking into providing a teens Autism social group - it may be challenging but hopefully exciting to set-up. If you have any experience in this area please let me know.

What sort of services and information do you need? What would you like to see on my website? Would Autism mentoring sessions help you, with online chats to help you support an autistic person at home? Get in touch … info@heleneaton.co.uk

Socialising

There's lots of useful information on my website, and I thought you might appreciate a few tips.

We can make it easier for Autistic children to socialise :

· explain what is happening, how long it will last and how it will end, e.g. a party

· build in an ‘escape plan’ - it may not be needed but it’s reassuring to know it’s there

· let them play freely at their own pace in their own way, avoiding being overly critical

· build in opportunities to learn about sharing, turn taking and asking people for things – all useful life skills

· allow time to rest and recover after social activities

· actively celebrate success - if an Autistic child realises something went well, and they feel good about it, they are more likely to try it or something else new

· remember that what is fun for us isn’t necessarily fun for someone else. We all have different versions of fun.

· finding a balance - enough socialising to feel wanted, loved and able to enjoy time with other people, but not too much so that they feel overwhelmed or panicked

Please share this newsletter, let others know about my website and follow me on social media - it's always much appreciated!

Helen

Specific Learing Difficulties

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 09:05:47 GMT

This is a subtitle for your new post

Specific Learning Difficulties include:

Dyslexia

Dyspraxia

Dyscalculia

Dysgraphia

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

SLDs affect learning and the way information is processed by the brain. They are different to ‘Learning Difficulties’ as intelligence is not affected and there is an identifiable and very specific difficulty

They are often described as hidden disabilities and may go undiagnosed and unsupported. Constantly struggling in school or work can lead to tiredness, low self-esteem and anxiety. Extra effort and energy is need to complete everyday tasks and this can be exhausting. This may cause people to avoid important or difficult things, making it much harder to catch up.

With the right support and learning people with SLDs can achieve great things, as they often have a wonderfully different way of seeing and thinking about the world.

ADHD

A behavioural condition that makes it hard to concentrate and control energy, actions and decisions. Caused by a chemical imbalance, the symptoms may be relived through medication. This can lead to hyperactivity, impulsiveness and risk taking. Professional advice for prescriptions must always be sought, as there are side effects and the doses must be correctly calculated and monitored.

Dyslexia

Difficulties with the range of skills needed for reading and spelling, along with verbal memory and processing. Specific tuition can help with techniques to help, and these strategies can provide lifelong help.

Dysgraphia

A difficulty with the physical act of writing which may also be painful.

Dyspraxia

A development disorder which affects fine and gross motor skills, which are needed for everyday tasks and movements. Physical exercises can help improve skills and co-ordination.

Dyscalculia

This means that people may struggle to understand maths, patterns, time and measurement. Again additional support and tuition may help develop these skills.

What is Autism?

Sun, 02 Feb 2020 13:16:42 GMT

Autism is a developmental condition which means the brain develops differently, causing a person to experience and process the world differently to a typical person.

An Autistic person may struggle with:

- Social communication, e.g. recognising facial expressions and body language

- Social interaction

- Understanding social rules, behaviour, and adjusting for different social settings

- Strong need for fixed routines, specific interests and hobbies

- Recognising and managing emotions

- Building and maintaining relationships

- Difficulties processing sensory information

- Changes, transitions and new places

The world is very loud, colourful and demanding of all of our senses. There are lots of social expectations and interactions which can be confusing. Everyday life can be very stressful and overwhelming for Autistic people, who experience the world in a different way to non-Autistic people.

Understanding and acceptance of differences is key to success, along with effective support strategies and adjustments.

There are 3 levels of Autism diagnosis, depending on the level of support required and how much daily functioning is impacted. Many Autistic people have full and successful lives and careers. The world benefits greatly from Autistic thinkers as they’re often creative, innovative and great problem solvers. The don't always work to the usual social and logic boundaries, often challenging 'normal' thinking and rules. A diagnosis of Autism is given by observing behaviours and asking questions. If a child behaves with a mix of social and communication difficulties, routine or ritualistic behaviours and sensory difficulties it suggests the brain is developing in a way that is defined as Autistic.

It is also true that some Autistic people may need care throughout their lives because they also have additional disabilities and learning difficulties.

Asperger's Syndrome was the name given to a specific type of Autism until just a few years ago, and is now known as High Functioning Autism These Autistic have average or above average intelligence and are viewed as ‘high-functioning’ although they still experience the same difficulties as other Autistic people.

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a type of behaviour within Autism, although currently rarely formally diagnosed. Anxiety may cause those with PDA to avoid every day requests to an extreme degree, and they may appear controlling and difficult as they struggle to respond to expectations and demands.

November 2019 Newsletter

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 13:24:20 GMT

Hello

In this newsletter I'll share some Autism statistics that might surprise you, let you know what I've been up to, what's coming soon, along with some information about me. There's a good chance you haven't yet met me, and so an introduction and explanation about what I do and why I do it might be helpful.

Autism Top Tip = Keep It Visual!

By this I mean it's easy for an Autistic person to become distracted or overloaded by everything that's going on them. Using anything visual - photos, videos, icons, diagrams - is a great way of sharing information and instructions.

Visuals are also consistent, long-lasting and have a low sensory impact (they don't talk back!).

So remember to don't just say it - show it!

I take photos of everything I need to remember, so I can look back on them in my own time. I actually find photography very calming and enjoyable, and always use my own images on my website and emails. Nature's colours at this time of year are spectacular.

Why is understanding Autism important?

There is clear statistical evidence that understanding Autism is incredibly important, based on the number of Autistic people, the lack of knowledge in recognising and supporting autism, and the lengthy impact of long delays in receiving a diagnosis. It's important to know that after diagnosis many families are waved away from the consultant with simply a few information leaflets and no further support. If we all increased our knowledge and understanding of Autism, hundreds of thousands of lives could be improved in the UK.

In the UK there are around 100,000 children diagnosed as Autistic, with many more still undiagnosed due to a number of factors, (including reluctance, mis-diagnosis, lack of knowledge).
Around 70% of Autistic children are in mainstream education.
In England the average waiting time to start diagnostic assessments was 4 months in 2016, with the longest waiting time in 2017 being 26 months. (British Medical Association)
The time taken to actually issue a diagnosis is significantly longer.
Research suggests less than 16% of Autistic people are in employment, are often overqualified and over skilled for the roles that they’re in.
My own experience has shown me that many schools don’t fully understand the needs of Autistic children, leading to high levels of distress in the classroom, exclusion, and families choosing to home educate.

Who am I?

The most important things to say is that I live and breathe Neurodiversity every single day. None of my family think or process the world in a typical way, and I can trace Autistic traits, Dyslexia, and more throughout my family tree.

I’ve spent the last 15+ years delivering leadership and business skills training to some of the UK’s leading finance and technology companies. In 2011 I gained a Post Grad qualification in Primary teaching. After one of my own children was diagnosed as Autistic, I then began to specialise in Autism.

For 18 months I worked as a trainer for a leading Autism social enterprise, delivering webinars and workshops across the South West. During that time I was very privileged to be a guest on Michael Rosen’s BBC Radio 4 Word of Mouth show, talking about Autism and communication and I have spoken at a NAS Conference on Autism and socialising. I went on to launch my own Autism business in 2018.

What do I offer?

Workplace training on Autism and SLDs
School staff training
Assemblies and classroom talks
Public speaking for groups, events and conferences
Leadership and Business skills training incorporating Neurodiversity
Total SDI™ profiliing, team building and conflict skills

Why do I do what I do?
Nothing can replicate the wonderful feeling I get when I hear that the work I’ve done has made a positive difference to a family or individual. I also love walking out of a classroom or training room knowing that I have increased knowledge and understanding.
I also work to dispel the myth that we are all a little bit Autistic. We are not. Autistic traits are human traits that we all recognise, but for Autistic people they can be present to such an extreme degree that some everyday tasks become impossible.
Thinking differently has led to my own life successes and I see the same in my children. I want to help develop opportunities for Autistic people to live and work to their potential, and remove the unnecessary barriers society puts in place. The smallest of changes can make the greatest of differences.
I currently don’t receive any funding or grants for the work that I do, and so charge a fee for my services. I also continue with my leadership training work, as that offers lots of exciting opportunities for me to develop my skills even further.

Here are some of the topics I talk and write about:

Autism in adults and children
Sensory needs
Autism and education
Autism in girls and women
ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Dysgraphia, Dyscalculia
Self-care, staying organised and developing healthy routines
Developing emotional awareness and managing emotions
Managing stress, anxiety and meltdowns
Friendships, relationships and social understanding
Challenging behaviour and support strategies

Please do get in touch if you would like more information or have any questions.

October 2019 Newsletter

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 10:34:37 GMT

Hello and welcome to this October Autism Newsletter, featuring details of the new Chippenham support group.

The majority of Autism support and information is found online with some great Facebook groups and Twitter feeds, but nothing seems to be beat face-to face conversations and real group support. Which is why we're launching a new support group this week in Chippenham! Please share the poster below.

Thursdays 8:00-9:30 pm, Citadel Hall, Chippenham

It's more than just a coffee and a chat (although that's a part of it too!). There'll be short talks on a range of topics, and we can chat about advice and support in a comfortable environment. It's a great chance to share experiences and find solutions with other parents and be supported by an Autism specialist.

At the end of September I delivered a talk to the North Wilts Girl Guiding group and am working with a large primary school to deliver two assemblies about Autism. The training course I've written with a leading training provider should be available soon to book, it's just going through the final exciting design stages.
Remember I offer a range of talks and training, so have a look through my website.

Regards

Helen Eaton

July 2019 Newsletter

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 10:31:53 GMT

Hello

July is Talk Time!

This is the month to encourage your friends, family and colleagues to attend one of my Autism talks as they're a perfect opportunity to find out more. They're relaxed, enjoyable and present the facts in an accessible way, and you can find the details below.

Sometimes, when we know a lot about a topic, we forget that others don't share our knowledge and expertise. This is often the case with Autism and Asperger's. We know our child and their needs inside out, or we may fully understand the children we teach or care for, but many around us don't have the same understanding of Autism. They may not know the best way to relate to or support an Autistic child, how to best help them reach their potential, and help with any challenges or difficulties. You may have an Autistic adult in your family who is struggling with relationships and feels misunderstood. It really is important that everyone has a good understanding and can build better relationships with each other.

This summer I'm a guest speaker at two exciting events and am holding two more ASD & Families talks.

The Myths & Mysteries of Autism
There’s a lot of media attention focused on Autism right now, but it can be hard to make sense of it all. This talk firstly strips down to the bare facts of Autism, then explores the real strengths and potential of Autistic brains. It also features some great images including a fabulous dragon!
3:00pm Saturday 13th July - Spark Wellbeing Festival - Pound Arts Centre, Corsham - only £2.50!

Understanding the child that thinks differently
I will lead a relaxed and enjoyable talk explaining the facts of Autism, the many strengths of Autistic children and some of the challenges they face.
3:00pm Sunday 14th July - Mums in Bath Show - Apex Hotel, Bath

ASD and Families
This is a 90 minute workshop session for children, parents, carers, friends and family. Explore Autism and Asperger's in an accessible, gentle and enjoyable way. Includes anxiety, sensory needs and reasonable adjustments for successful living. Children over 8 are free with an adult ticket!
10:00am to 11:30am 31st July & 28th August - Citadel Hall, Chippenham

If you have any questions please do get in touch

.

June 2019 Newsletter

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 10:30:31 GMT

Hello

Welcome to June's Autism Newsletter

This month I'll be letting you know about:

the new Wiltshire Autism Information Facebook page
summer children's talks
an autumn parenting success course
my talk at the Corsham Spark Wellbeing Festival
the services I offer

Wiltshire Autism Information
This new Facebook page aims to keep everyone updated on news on events for Autistic adults and children across Wiltshire and neighbouring areas. Simply search Facebook for 'Wiltshire Autism Information' to find it. If you'd like to share an event, please message the page directly or email info@heleneaton.co.uk .

Summer Children's Talks
I've added two new dates for the summer holidays. At last month's talk it was wonderful to see children and their families learning more about Autism together, sharing ideas and experiences.
These talks place in Chippenham and last 90 minutes, with a short comfort break in the middle. They are suitable for children over 8 years - with or without a diagnosis of Asperger's or Higher Functioning Autism. Family and friends can come along too, helping everyone build better relationships.
Please note children must be supervised at all times by an accompanying adult.

Autumn Parenting Course
This is a fantastic opportunity to meet other parents and carers and work in a structured coaching way through some of your family's difficulties, whilst learning to better understand your child's Autism and appreciate their strengths.

Corsham Spark Wellbeing Festival
This fabulous wellbeing event offers the chance to listen to some inspiring talks, enjoy some fantastic therapeutic tasters and experience different ways to increase your general wellbeing.
My Autism Myths and Mysteries talk strips downs to the bare facts of Autism, then explores the real strengths of Autistic brains. Everyday functioning can at times be very challenging for Autistic people and so the common difficulties are explained along with practical ways to better understand those we live or work with, or even ourselves.
This is going to be a very popular event so it's best to book your tickets now for the 3:00pm talk on the 13th July. They're just £2.50 per person through the Spark Website

Training, talks and workshops
Get in touch to find out more about:

talks for your community group, school or workplace
staff training
business skills training which can incorporate the benefits of Neurodiversity

It would be great to hear from you, so please do get in touch.

May 2019 Newsletter

Sun, 12 May 2019 06:39:26 GMT

Hello

In this Newsletter I'll be updating you on my upcoming talks, sharing what I've been up to lately and offering a bit of an insight into an Autism diagnosis.

Talks in May and June
Book online at www.heleneaton.co.uk/events
These are all in Chippenham, but I'd love to bring my talks to your area soon too!

ASD & Education 10:00-11:30am 17th May
Great for TA’s, schools, professionals, parents and carers.

ASD Education and Families 10:00-11:30am 29th May
This half term event is perfect for friends and family. This talk is suitable for children over 8 and they can attend for FREE with an adult.

Autistic Adults, Anxiety and Successful Lives 10:00-11:30am 5th June
A talk for everyone! Workplaces, professionals and individuals would all benefit from knowing more about Autism.

I also offer Autism talks and training for public groups, schools and businesses, please get in touch for more information info@heleneaton.co.uk

A very busy April

April was a fabulously busy month for both my Autism projects and my Leadership training business. Highlights include:

Seven class talks on Autism to a primary school
A talk in Corsham Town Hall introducing Autism to a lovely audience to over of 60 people
The start of my four-week parent support course
Early discussions to create Autism courses for a charity, support a Mental Health event and deliver school staff training
I've designed and delivered a Leading Change talk for an International bank to an audience of over 150 people in the UK, with a much larger number watching across the world
I've come to the end of delivering two ILM 5 programmes for a local City Council

What diagnosis does and doesn’t offer

Many people don't have the opportunity to find out what is involved in a Autism diagnosis, and so I hope this brief overviews helps those of you who wish to know more.

Autism diagnoses can happen at any age, but most professionals wait until a child is at least 6 years old, often to rule out development delays or other disorders. There are many adults who were diagnosed much later in life, some in their 50s and 60s. Remember that the term Autism is relatively new, although the condition has probably been around forever. First identified in the 1940’s, Autism research only really restarted in the 1980’s, gaining momentum through the decades to now, meaning a diagnosis simply wasn’t available in many people’s childhoods.

The waiting and referral times for diagnosis can be from 3 months to 3 years, and often several appointments with a paediatrician and/or Educational Psychologist are required before a diagnosis is given. Children are observed playing and communicating, and reports and questionnaire answers are provided by a family member and possibly a teacher. In simplest terms there is essentially a checklist of behaviours and difficulties that a child must match to achieve a diagnosis.

A diagnosis is useful for many as it helps understand why they function differently from the 'average' person, and why day to day life and socialising can be difficult. It is often seen as a light bulb or eureka moment when everything suddenly makes sense and a new pathway through life can be forged.

A diagnosis gives protection under Disability Discrimination and the Equality Act, and can be essential to gain access to some services, reasonable adjustments and support. This could include an EHCP for schools, claiming benefits such as Disabled Living Allowance, or a free carer pass to tourist attractions and events.

Sadly, diagnosis does not automatically mean ongoing access to support or a medical professional. Many people are given their diagnosis letter and then waved off in to the work without any further support or services. Some areas offer short term support after diagnosis, but most adults and children rely on the goodwill and services of local charities and support groups.

Some families choose to avoid the perceived stigma of a diagnosis, fearing it may affect their life choices negatively. This is very much a personal choice, and many work positively with their differences and difficulties without a formal diagnosis. As a diagnosis is based on observed and reported behaviours, some adults self-diagnose as they feel they know themselves and Autism well enough to do so.

However, avoiding a diagnosis and also a ignoring a person’s difficulties can be extremely damaging and may leave an Autistic person confused, isolated and more likely to make poor life choices.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope to hear from you soon

Regards

Helen Eaton
info@heleneaton.co.uk
MSc, PGCE
Autism Specialist and Leadership Trainer
HK Eaton Ltd

Learning about emotions

Thu, 07 Mar 2019 13:21:03 GMT

Learning about Emotions

Pre-school children are often introduced to the basics of a second language. We teach computer coding languages in schools and study ancient scripts. Yet we often fail to adequately to teach children about the nature and language of our emotions.

Humans constantly express how they feel, and a sharing of emotions is seen as key to developing relationships.

We learn about emotions by experiencing them. We learn to understand and appropriately express our emotions through watching and copying others and the feedback they give us. We learn the boundaries and consequences of sharing emotions through the responses of others.

Autistic children can’t always manage or communicate emotions as effectively as non-Autistic children. This affects their friendships, family relationships, behaviour and may often get them into trouble at school.

Autistic children may:

· struggle to pick the right emotional response. They might feel angry rather than disappointed when they get the smallest slice of cake

· struggle to name emotions. When asked how they feel, they may say sick, headachy, squirmy inside when it may actually be anxiety that they’re feeling

· not recognise the emotion someone else is displaying. If a teacher peers directly at them, stops talking and waits, an Autistic child may not realise this means frustration

· over-feel and be overwhelmed by emotions

· supress emotions as they can be frightening to deal with. This means that they might not express an emotion as and when expected, for example not responding with visible grief at the death of a family member

Causes

Research into the Autistic brain is still ongoing. It is generally accepted that it develops differently to non-Autistic brains, as shown by MRI brain scans. Emotional control, communication, language, memories, decision making and many more brain functions are all involved in managing and expressing emotions. The interlinking and connections within the Autistic brain are different. This impacts how the varying parts work together to affect and control emotions and behaviour.

Alexithymia is the inability to recognise and describe your own emotions. Researchers are trying to identify if this is a part of Autism or a standalone condition often found in Autistic people.

Emotional development may be delayed or different to the other children around them, which again reduces the opportunity to learn about emotions from others.

Autistic children may find themselves excluded by peers. They may also choose to isolate themselves, as other children’s emotions seem to be unpredictable and unfathomable. This makes it so much harder for Autistic children to learn about emotions from family and peers and to respond in the way everyone expects them to. It can be like watching a stunt bike show and being expected to join in whist you’ve still got stabilisers on your trike.

How to help

· pick the right time to learn about emotions. Wait for a time with calm emotions, low sensory input and low anxiety and the child will be better able to listen and understand

· keep it development stage/age appropriate but don’t avoid sensitive or embarrassing topics

· use examples in photos, cartoons, books and TV shows which bring emotions to life

· discuss how emotions make them feel inside so that they can learn to recognise and name them

· identify and celebrate positive emotions such as happiness, excitement and cheerfulness

· talk about the importance of negative emotions, along with why it’s important to not get overwhelmed by them or to feel that they are the only choice. Being constantly angry is exhausting

· ask what makes them feel happy, sad, disappointed, disgusted, surprised envious, etc.

· look at emotions in lots of different people and situations to help the child make connections

Repeat, repeat and repeat some more! The more we learn about emotions the better we can manage and share them.

by Helen Eaton

Through her work, Helen Eaton (MSc, PGCE) has gained a fascinating insight into both education and the workplace. She combines over 20 years’ experience delivering management training to the UK’s leading IT and Finance companies with a passion for education and a teaching qualification. Now specialising in Neurodiversity, she has worked with many families and professionals, promoting the importance of understanding and supporting Autism and Specific Learning Difficulties. Most importantly, she has a Neurodivergent family and rejoices in the uniqueness of their Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic minds.

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Vulnerability in Autistic children

Tue, 26 Feb 2019 13:30:24 GMT

Thinking differently often means that rules and boundaries can be blurred. Where a typical child may think something is silly or inappropriate an Autistic child will probably try it. They do like rules but have often created their own rulebooks and stick to them regardless.

Autistic children are very good at paying attention to the things they are interested in, but these are not necessarily the most useful things in life. Don’t presume that because they sat through an assembly or lesson on something that they remember can or apply the learning.

It can be hard for Autistic children to learn important social and safety rules in classes and large groups. They may be distracted by:

· being physically uncomfortable, such as having to sit a certain way on the classroom carpet or being too hot

· sensory distraction, e.g. lunch cooking or a noisy playground

· thinking their own thoughts and focussing on favourite things rather than listening

· thinking about what’s coming next, especially if they don’t like it, e.g. queuing for lunch or getting changed for PE

· anxiety about any change in routine or people in the classroom

Explain common risks such as internet safety clearly, explicitly and repeatedly. It helps to give a complete picture. This means including the why, what, how, where and when. It’s important to also explain the implications or consequences of not following the rules.

Autistic children, especially teenagers, can also be more easily influenced into making poor choices than non-Autistic children. This may be due to:

· difficulty reading other’s people’s body language and facial expressions, and so not spotting lies or tricks as easily

· thinking very literally, and following things exactly as heard, without checking the logic and sensibleness of instructions

· difficulty guessing other people’s intentions, and not spotting when somebody is being unkind or deceiving them

· reluctance to ask an adult for advice or help and so making poor choices on their own - often to social anxiety or difficulties, and the more anxious a child is they less able they are to verbally tell someone what they need or want.

· poor impulse control makes them often unable to resist temptation

· a desire to fit in, and so they take part in risky behaviour to gain some sense of belonging

· poor emotional control, meaning other children may deliberately provoke them to watch them explode!

Sadly, many non-Autistic children have yet to realise just how amazing Autistic brains are and have little tolerance and patience for the differing needs of Autistic children. Autistic children often become the targets of school bullies and can end up feeling isolated and alone. This social exclusion is another risk factor as it reduces the opportunity for vital social learning, which is learning the small and necessary details of life from those around us. It can be a vicious cycle for Autistic children who need more time to learn appropriate behaviour but are deprived of the opportunity as their peers exclude them.

We learn how to behave and respond by watching those others, and so spending lots of time with positive role models is vital for Autistic children.

To help support good life choices:

· model these choices – it’s can be difficult explaining to explain to an Autistic child why you’re allowed to do something and they’re not

· don’t just leave it up to school to deliver important life lessons - school is not always the best place for Autistic children to learn them

· make sure they’re comfortable and focussed when explaining things, and reduce the sensory distractions

· don’t avoid discussing sensitive issues, such as dieting, drugs, alcohol and sex -make your messages clear, direct and impactful

· be watchful as to who they’re spending time with and for any sudden changes in behaviour or interests

· if you have any concerns about the choices your child is making don’t hesitate to contact your GP or seek professional support

by Helen Eaton

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Anxiety

Fri, 22 Feb 2019 19:05:35 GMT

Anxiety

Autistic children seem to be more consistently anxious than non-Autistic children. This may be because they find it difficult to predict what’s coming next, prefer to stay in their comfort zones, or struggle to process sudden changes and new things.

Anxiety can lead to

· Nausea

· Upset stomachs and cramps

· Headaches

· Muscle aches

· Tearfulness or anger

Anxiety can cause children to

· Refuse to do things

· Be ‘naughty’ rather than do something

· Run away or hide

· Become angry or violent

· Freeze, become silent or withdrawn

It’s really important to recognise when a child is struggling with anxiety. As they get older, they may learn to recognise the signs and symptoms, and manage it better themselves.

It’s helpful to know what is causing anxiety and try to reduce or eliminate some fears or concerns. This can be done through social stories, talking, and trying new things when the child feels safe and secure. If a child is very anxious about going to the dentist, it may be the waiting room, uncomfortable chair, bright lights, or fear of the pain that is the problem. By working out exactly which parts are tricky, a trip to the dentist can be made easier. It’s good to know what they’re not anxious about as well and to celebrate any successes.

Unexpected and unusual things can cause anxiety, so don't be surprised if your child is fearful of something you enjoy.

Anxiety may be worse if the child is tired, overwhelmed by sensory input, unwell or under pressure to do things they don’t like or know.

Developing a range of coping and support strategies is very important and different things work for different children:

· Sensory blockers to reduce sensory overload (ear defenders, comfort toys)

· Calm breathing techniques

· Exercise, such as running, quick stretches yoga or pilates

· Using oils and massage

· Do a favourite thing, such as colouring or playing with Lego

· Don't try and do too much in one day, and take time to recover after busy days

· Plan and prepare for activities by explaining what will happen, how long it will last and when it will end

· Managing sleep and having a balanced diet – (even if it isn’t varied!)

by Helen Eaton

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Sensory Processing Difficulties

Sat, 09 Feb 2019 11:47:44 GMT

Sensory processing is the recognition of and response to a range of sensory inputs. In Autistic children this system doesn’t work as effectively as it should. Autistic children can be both over-sensitive and under-sensitive to different things. The mix of things is unique in every child. I know a boy who hates chewy meat, clothes labels and aftershave, but loves spicy food, hugs and rollercoasters!

The list of sensory inputs we process each day is vast, and includes:

· Taste – e.g. flavours and textures

· Touch – e.g. textures, touching things or being touched

· Smell

· Sound

· Sight - e.g. lights, movement and colours

· Balance and motion – e.g. spinning or being upside down

· Position and movement of own body –e.g. may bump into things, not be able to clap hands

· Internal sensations – e.g. hungry or hot

If they are under-sensitive, they may not notice or respond to an input, for example not notice when they’re full up or cold. Being under-sensitive to something is often harder to notice, unless the child actively seeks out the missing sensory input.

Signs of being under-sensitive include:

· Constant chewing or licking

· Touching everything

· Making lots of noise

· Moving a lot, struggling to sit still

· Finds writing hard as may over grip a pen

If a child is over-sensitive to something they may:

· Refuse to eat, wear or be near it

· Try and run away

· Be irritated, distracted or unable to concentrate

· Try to break or attack the thing or person causing discomfort

Sensory difficulties are often worse if a child is tired, under pressure, anxious or trying to cope with too much at once.

The things they’re over or under-sensitive to might change over time, but often stay the same throughout their lives. However, as a child gets older the ability to tolerate sensory input usually improves, and they may learn coping strategies

These include:

· Having a quiet, low light’ safe space’

· Sensory blockers, such as ear defenders or sunglasses

· Label free, comfortable clothes or some may prefer tight fitting clothes

· Wearing favourite scent on a scarf or clothes

· Using chewy toys

· Prioritise a healthy, balanced diet – variety isn’t essential!

by Helen Eaton

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Socialising

Thu, 07 Feb 2019 14:50:56 GMT

Everyday life requires a vast range of social skills, whether simply spending time with family members, shopping or building friendships. All communication, whether its face to face, by telephone, text or social media requires social thinking. This includes recognising and receiving the message, processing it, and choosing the appropriate behaviour, emotion and reply.

Most human learning is done socially – from watching and communicating with other humans. Children need to spend time with other children and adults in order to learn. This includes learning what’s safe or dangerous, how to do everyday tasks, through to learning new sports and hobbies.

Social thinking can be very hard and very tiring for Autistic children. An Autistic brain seems to struggle with learning and remembering social behaviour, boundaries and responses. So, it can be difficult for an Autistic child to understand and remember how they should behave, how to express their emotions and ask for what they need.

It’s true that they may not need as much social contact as other children in order to thrive and be happy, often preferring to be more self- contained. The opposite may also be also true as some enjoy spending a lot of time with other children and adults. What’s true for all of them is that the more they avoid or are excluded form socialising the harder it is, and the less confident about doing it they become.

Social difficulties in Autistic children range from mutism and a ‘disconnected child’ through to a very articulate and able child who may appear at times ‘socially awkward or odd’. They might also have additional speech and language or developmental difficulties affecting their social skills and behaviour

An Autistic child may:

· get impatient with children who can’t who keep up with their ideas or understand the rules

· try and control play, prefer to play by themselves or stick to the same toy or games

· enjoy staying on the edge of groups, just happy watching

· be too physical or say things that cause upset

· prefer to stick to one friend, or move between groups without really belonging to any

· get upset very easily when playing

· not worry about following the latest fashions, trends, or looking a certain way in order to fit in, or do the opposite and copy other children’s appearance or behaviours to an extreme level, particularly in teenage years in order to try and fit in

What’s true for all of them is that the more they avoid socialising the harder it is and the less confident about doing it they become.

It is crucial that Autistic children have the opportunity to enjoy successful social experiences. Enjoyment is the key word here. This isn’t about forcing the right response or behaviour but finding environments and situations where an Autistic child feels comfortable, safe and can join in as much or little as they want to. Depending on the child, success may mean enjoying a family dinner, paying for something in a shop, joining a new club or finding a new friend.

We need to look at each child and think about what social skills would be most helpful to them. The range of Autistic difficulties is so broad that some may be capable of having perfect manners, but for others it’s more important that they are confident to ask an adult for help when needed.

We can make it easier for Autistic children to socialise by:

· ensuring they are not tired, hungry or physically uncomfortable when socialising, as sensory distractions add pressure

· explain what is happening, how long it will last and how it will end, e.g. a party

· build in an ‘escape plan’ - it may not be needed but it’s reassuring to know it’s there.

· let them play freely at their own pace in their own way, avoiding being overly critical

· build in opportunities to learn about sharing, turn taking and asking people for things – all useful life skills

· allow time to rest and recover after social activities

· actively celebrate success - if an Autistic child realises something went well, and they feel good about it, they are more likely to try it or something else new

· remember that what is fun for us isn’t necessarily fun for someone else. We all have different versions of fun.

· finding a balance - enough socialising to feel wanted, loved and able to enjoy time with other people, but not too much so that they feel overwhelmed or panicked.

by Helen Eaton

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Diagnosing Autism

Sun, 03 Feb 2019 08:55:06 GMT

A formal diagnosis of Autism helps identify a child's difficulties and offers a route to gaining support. It rules out other conditions, gives a reason for a child's behaviour and provides a focus for the best strategies to help them.

There are many, many things that indicate a child might be Autistic but some of the most common signs include:

· refusing to co-operate

· over reacting when things don’t go their way or as planned

· struggling to play with children their own age, either not joining in, or being too physical or controlling

· not showing the same emotional responses or interests as children the same age

· being very interested in just a few things, or liking and doing the same thing over and over again

· struggling with different sounds, texture, flavours etc

An Autism diagnosis is given based on professionals' opinions and after several assessments. This is usually a combination of a Paediatrician, Educational Psychologist and Speech and Language Therapist, using the criteria from international diagnostics manuals (DSM-5 or ICD-11).

It is given:

· through observations of the child’s behaviour

· based on reports of difficulties by parents and teachers

· when there is difficulty with social communication and interaction

· when there are restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviour, interest or activities

· by reviewing infancy and early year’s development

· identifying sensory processing difficulties

· after tests and checks rule out other conditions

Research using MRI scans shows that an Autistic brain develops and functions differently to a non-Autistic brain, but neither scans nor blood tests are currently used to diagnose Autism. The diagnosis is based purely on behaviour, development and difficulties compared to typical children of the same age.

An Autistic child may have already experienced years of anxiety and distress before an Autism diagnosis is given, as it often only after this point that proper support and help is considered and put in place.

Waiting times for the first appointment to start the Autism assessment process are up to two years in some areas, despite a national target of three months, and it may take up to four years or more for a diagnosis. After diagnosis specialist SEN support in school may not start for many months, whilst further assessments are made and arrangements agreed.

It is a personal choice as to who you tell about your child’s Autism diagnosis.

When a child learns about their Autism in an age appropriate way they can benefit from knowing why their brain works the way it does. It helps them understand why they might sometimes struggle to understand other children or adults. It’s important to know that’s its okay to feel and think the way they do, and that there are ways to help with their difficulties. Autistic brains are amazing, and can be even better than non-Autistic brains at lots of things!

by Helen Eaton

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

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Everyone needs to know about Autism

Sat, 02 Feb 2019 07:45:34 GMT

I think all Autistic children are amazing. Most have an ability to learn their favourite topic in microscopic detail, or can spot patterns, errors and detail others wouldn’t notice. They may have the capacity to hyper-focus, complete repetitive tasks consistently or to specialise in complex subjects. All important skills for so many careers.

Many great things have been achieved by many Autistic people throughout the centuries. However, in the 21st century our lives are often frenetic, chaotic, overly demanding and shared through social media. We place too many expectations and demands on ourselves and there’s a huge pressure to conform to a very limited range of ‘norms’. These are not great conditions for Autistic children. With too much going on too fast and so many changes they become overwhelmed.

A lack of understanding of Autism means there aren’t enough adjustments made to create an environment where Autistic children can truly flourish.

This lack of understanding in families, education & the workplace makes life’s journey significantly harder. If this continues it will block the potential of a group of children to develop essential skills and employability. It also increases the risk of unhappiness, poor life choices and mental health issues.

As parents and carers, we have hopes for our children’s futures :

· Independence

· Life skills and employability

· Positive relationships

· Happy and healthy lives

Without a proper of understanding of the needs and strengths of Autism:

· Families don’t understand or accept the challenges their child faces

· Schools miss the key signs indicating Autism, instead punishing, excluding or socially isolating children

· Autistic children are pushed through an often inflexible and fast paced mainstream UK education system, which even many non-Autistic children are struggling to cope with

· The child may feel alone, like a failure and not understand there are good reasons why they may feel or behave differently

· Nothing changes to make the child’s life easier

There are many simple adjustments that can be made at home and school which will enable Autistic children to flourish. It takes some understanding, empathy and just a few questions to find out what could help.

by Helen Eaton

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Understanding Autism in Children

Fri, 01 Feb 2019 14:38:58 GMT

Day one of Understanding Autism in Children

The world is very social, fast paced and vibrant. We’re constantly experiencing and processing a bombardment of sensory and social demands. These demands and expectations can lead to Autistic children feeling overwhelmed, struggling to cope and behaving in ways that might be seen as ‘naughty’. They're not being naughty, they're just trying to cope,

Autism means a child may struggle with:

• Communication, such as recognising and matching facial expressions and body language

• Understanding social rules and adjusting their behaviour for different places and people

• Strong need for fixed routines, specific interests and hobbies

• Difficulties processing sensory information- smells, tastes, sensation, sounds, sights, balance etc affect everyone differently

• Changes, new places, starting and ending things

It’s important to know that:

• Autistic brains develop differently to non-Autistic brains

• Every Autistic person is affected to differing degrees by a common set of difficulties

• Autistic brains process and store information, emotions and sensory experiences differently to non-Autistic brains

• Intellect is not affected, although some children may have additional needs which affect their abilities

Autistic children do best when they :

• are calm and have support for anxiety

• understand what is happening now and what will happen next

• are able to focus on and enjoy their favourite things

• have help understanding the best way to manage and share their emotions

• understand what other people are asking of them socially and emotionally

• are supported to try new things

• know that they are loved and valued for who they are

by Helen Eaton

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

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The Executive Functioning struggles

Thu, 10 Jan 2019 19:23:29 GMT

Sock Wars - The Executive Functioning Battle

Sock Wars – the Executive Functioning battle

Our time away in Spain over Christmas was marred by Sock Wars.

There are five of us which equals ten feet.

I located, and my husband packed, a total of twenty socks, including ten to wear on the journey.

Doing the maths now, that equates to two pairs of socks per person for the entire holiday. I didn’t do the maths before we left home.

Neither of us counted the socks or noticed until we arrived and unpacked. And so the daily battle for clean socks began, made even more exciting by my then purchasing six pairs that transpired to be too big and too long, and three pairs that required some toe squishing to wear, neither being great for a family with sensory issues.

So why is Sock Wars important? Because it‘s just so typical of a Neurodiverse brain.

The elements of the holiday I found interesting were meticulously planned and flowed beautifully. Socks bore me, my feet prefer to be bare, and so my busy brain doesn’t allocate any processing time to them. They’re simply not a priority. But they’re socks, you may be shouting out by now, how could I forget about socks? If you’re nodding wisely, you may well have an Autistic child or partner who can construct a Lego spaceship in 30 minutes but doesn’t recognise the importance of clean pants. Perhaps they can recite every line in their favourite movie, but can’t pass on the message to buy more milk. Or perhaps they can spend hours plotting to dominate the world in their favourite board game or app, but can’t remember to lock the front door on the way out.

Executive functioning skills are the culprit here, and Autistic and Dyslexic people often struggle with this. Memories and details just don’t seem to be stored and accessed in a way that everyday life needs them to be.

There are lots of activities which help to develop these skills, and tools to fill in the gaps, such as calendar reminders and to do lists.

I will always be the person who can single handedly design and organise training events, speak confidently in public and tell you all about my favourite new sci-fi author. I will never be able to guarantee to find you a clean pair of matching socks.

by Helen Eaton

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

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Why we need to support and nurture Autistic children

Sat, 03 Nov 2018 07:55:58 GMT

Support and nurture Autistic children

Why we need to support and nurture Autistic children

The word Autism is all over the media; from supermarket quiet hours, to news reports about high pupil exclusion rates. Perhaps this article helps to explain ‘what all the fuss is about'.

I hope to show here why and how we can better support and nurture our Autistic children

There’s no doubt in my mind that there is currently a real and damaging lack of understanding and practical support for Autism.

If this continues, it blocks the potential of a group of children to develop essential skills and employability. It also increases the risk of unhappiness, poor life choices, and mental health issues.

The changes everyone can make to help are not difficult or time consuming. They're about making small adjustments, being more accepting of differences and opening your mind to the strengths and skills of others.

Special in many ways

Autistic brains process and store information, emotions and sensory input differently to typical brains. They’re often focussing on different details, thoughts and priorities to those around them. This gives each Autistic person a unique perspective on the world, leading to high levels of subject specialism, problem solving, innovation, and creative thinking.

Sadly, many parents resist acknowledging their child’s Autistic traits and difficulties, perhaps fearing their child will be treated unfairly, or the challenges magnified by naming them. This often leaves that child not understanding why they’re struggling and may restrict access to resources and strategies which could help.

Being Autistic does not mean the person has impaired intellect. However, some Autistic children may have additional physical needs, diagnoses or learning difficulties, which is why they need care or supported living arrangements throughout their lives.

Whilst just a tiny percentage are the savants that occasionally make headline news, I think all Autistic children are amazing. Most have an ability to learn their favourite topic in microscopic detail, or to spot patterns, errors and detail others wouldn’t notice. They may have the capacity to hyper-focus, complete repetitive tasks consistently or to specialise in complex subjects. All important skills for so many careers. They’re also fun, quirky and interesting little people to spend time with.

Looking ahead

As parents we have hopes for our children’s futures:

· Independence

· Life skills and employability

· Positive relationships

· Happy and healthy lives

A lack of understanding and support for Autism makes the journey significantly harder.

Our increasingly complex world can feel incredibly hectic and overwhelming for Autistic brains. They seem designed to focus on a limited range of activity, people and inputs at any given time. Sometimes just functioning and getting the day to day stuff done can be challenging. An overwhelmed Autistic person may have an explosive response, known as a meltdown. They may retreat from the world by shutting down, or they may panic and fight or run away. They are simply trying to reset an overloaded brain and regain calm and control.

I think we’d all benefit from recognising our lives have become too complex, over stimulating and pressured. Recognising the impact these things have on Autistic people is key to understanding their behaviour and offering support.

Vulnerability

Autistic children often stand out from the crowd. They may never, ever change their hair styles or choice of clothes, or may defy all conventional norms with their appearance. They may talk excessively about their favourite topic or prefer to not talk much at all. They may avoid social events and stand on the edge of groups. They might be at the heart of parties, merrily throwing out the occasional social faux pas or uncomfortably honest comment.

It’s easy to see that with society’s current obsession of conforming to the standards of social media stars and distorted social expectations, these differences can seem hugely amplified. I find there is less tolerance in recent years for individualism and many are rejected and called odd, weird or worthless by their peers. Being different from a group is too often seen as being flawed.

The hard truth is that Autistic children are vulnerable to bullying, exclusion by peers and at risk of being led astray.

If you are bullied and rejected in childhood, and your school or family fails to support your needs, there’s a good chance you might give up trying. This could be giving up on education, relationships, trying to find a place in the world and sometimes even life itself.

Support and Nurture

Autistic children do need an additional level of support and the key elements for success include:

· Safety and comfort

· Anxiety management strategies

· Supporting change and new experiences

· Developing emotional awareness

Safety and comfort are particularly key for Autistic children.

Being sensory overwhelmed is distracting and creates a sense of panic within the mind and body. Autistic people often over-feel every day sensations, such as labels on clothes, loud noises, smells, and even a light touch can feel painful. Some sensory input is missed, or they may seek sensory input as stimulation, such as constantly chewing or touching everything. It really is a unique mix for every Autistic individual. I can’t bear the smell of diesel fumes, some washing up liquids and stale milk. For me the worst sensation is spinning or being upside down, to the point that I feel nauseous, can’t think of anything else and may even panic.

Allowing sensory blockers, such as headphones or comfort items are easy solutions. It’s best to work with each indicdual to find out what can help.

Anxiety levels generally run high

It’s essential to create an environment where anxiety is openly addressed, and positive coping strategies put in place. Quiet, solitude and time to process change and emotions are essential. Busy home lives and schools limit the opportunity for these things.

The pace of the secondary school day is often frenetic, and every thirty minutes or so a child must walk into a different classroom environment, where it may be hotter, noisier, or smellier than the last. They need to adjust to the sensory changes. Sitting and a working with a different group of pupils each time requires lots of active social thinking, which is exhausting. Break times can be lonely and an opportunity for bullies to pounce. There is no often no space to recover or rest during the day.

Timetable adjustments and quiet learning environments, even if it’s for just one lesson a day, can make all the difference. A safe space to retreat to at home or school is a real asset.

Support, such as counselling or mentoring, can help deal with common pressures, such as feeling the need to conform, striving for perfectionism, and bullying. It also can help prevent making poor life choices, joining less positive social groups, or developing addictions as a coping mechanism. It's worth noting that accessing these services is incredibly difficult right now, with children facing waits of up to three years, as demand is high and resources low.

Supporting change and new experiences

Autistic minds benefit from reassuring constants and known patterns and sequences, as changes can take time to process and feel safe. If there’s a risk that something new might be extremely unpleasant to experience, Autistic children can resort to very vocal and physical strategies to avoid it. Even trying a new food can create panic.

As the parts of the brain responsible for communication and social behaviour also develop differently, social demands and expectations can be tricky to understand and exhausting to navigate. Being in constant fear about what might happen next and misunderstanding what others want from you can create a whirl of panicked responses. Providing clear explanations and information to fill in any gaps in understanding can be helpful.

Big emotions can run riot

Explicit teaching about emotions and emotional intelligence is crucial. This includes understanding and regulating your own emotions, along with recognising and relating to the emotions of others. They don’t necessarily lack empathy but may struggle to initially recognise and respond appropriately to another person’s emotions. Social niceties and the emotional state of others may even be relatively unimportant for some Autistic people, who prefer to focus on achieving tasks rather than building relationships. Most just want to be loved just like everybody else.

Studies suggest Autistic people feel emotions to much greater degrees, yet may struggle to name and manage them. Even positive emotions can be frightening. There's nothing quite so marvellous, though, as being loved and hugged by an Autistic child, and being able to share their overwhelming sense of joy and happiness when doing something they enjoy.

Planning for success

I believe my own children have been on journeys, adventures and tried many new things because they feel secure and supported. They have at times been reluctant, fearful and typically teenage in their responses. However, they are able, in their own way and time, to talk about anxieties and what they need from us to succeed. We help to stretch their world to incorporate and experience new things and are ready shrink it back a little when needed.

They’re children. All children deserve to feel safe and able to achieve.

Autistic children deserve it. The world we’ve all created can be very challenging for them to navigate. It doesn’t seem fair to abandon them to it, without guidance and support, and to deprive them of the opportunities to flourish and be happy.

by Helen Eaton

Through her work, Helen Eaton (MSc, PGCE) has gained a fascinating insight into both lifelong education and the workplace. She combines over 20 years’ experience delivering management training to the UK’s leading IT and Finance companies with a passion for education and a teaching qualification. Now specialising in Neurodiversity, she has worked with many families and professionals, promoting the importance of understanding and supporting Autism and Specific Learning Difficulties. Most importantly, she has a Neurodivergent family and rejoices in the uniqueness of their Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic minds.

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Healthy Routines

Sat, 15 Sep 2018 10:32:17 GMT

Healthy Routines - Less hysteria and ham in the bedroom

Healthy Routines – Less hysteria and ham in the bedroom

It was the third day back at school for this term and I thought I’d got it all worked out. I’d given the kids 30 minutes the night before to sort their stuff out ready for the next day. I was up at six, my clothes in a relatively tidy heap next to the bed, bag packed and ready by the door.

Just before 7:00 am we’re all in the car, pulling off the driveway, with Boy1, Boy2 and Girl strapped in ready to be dropped off at friends’ houses. With Husband away and an early start with a new client, I’m lucky to have friends willing to receive my kids whilst still in their own pyjamas

Two hundred yards down the lane and there’s a scream of frustration from the back seat.

Boy2 is pulling a spare tie from under the seat where it’s wedged. When asked where his main tie is, he replies that it’s in his school bag. When asked where the school bag is, he reveals it was left at Youth Theatre the previous afternoon.

Girl2 has her school bag. Great. But no packed lunch. There was no meat, she tells me, to make her sandwiches with. So, she didn’t bother.

I ask Boy1 where he put the ham and salami that he carried into the house the day before.

“In my bedroom.”

“In your bedroom?” I repeat.

“In my bedroom” he replies.

I wait.

“Perhaps I should have put it in the fridge sooner,” he eventually offers.

That summarises a good start to the day for us, to be honest there are many that are much worse. The impact is stress levels rise, anxiety might kick in and at least one of us doesn’t have what we need for the day. If anyone’s particularly overloaded there might even be a full-on meltdown. All before 8:00 am

No two days are the same in our household. I work all over the country, have extended periods when I’m home based, the children all take part in a variety of clubs and my husband, also with an office at home, works from different sites. So, we’re all relaxed and flexible about what’s going to happen each day. Perhaps a little too relaxed.

I may have a poor grasp on domestic issues, but my brain is always on overdrive. There’s a wide and diverse range of thoughts whirling around - for writing, business opportunities, sorting out the kids’ issues, plans for dealing with a zombie attack (an ongoing obsession) to name just a few. I struggle to prioritise boring details. Such as creating and maintaining sensible order and a list of necessities for each day. I deliver a practical Organising Work and Time training course and know all the tricks of the trade. However, the skill set required to be organised in daily tasks is so far removed from my own that I must work really hard to practise what I preach. Then I get distracted and it falls apart a little.

I’m wary of my children or myself being restricted by some of the obsessive routines that Autistic people are prone to develop, but I really would like to instil some healthy routines. Starting with getting out of the house each morning without at least one lost item, forgotten task or case of mild hysteria. Knowing there’s no meat in anyone’s bedroom would be a bonus. Creating a weekly planner and list of stuff needed each day would be a good start. I’ll make one later…

by Helen Eaton

Through her work, Helen Eaton (MSc, PGCE) has gained an unusual and fascinating insight into both lifelong education and the workplace. She combines over 20 years’ experience delivering management training to the UK’s leading IT and Finance companies with a passion for education and a teaching qualification. Now specialising in Neurodiversity, she has worked with many families and professionals, promoting the importance of understanding and supporting Autism and Specific Learning Difficulties. Most importantly, she has a Neurodivergent family and rejoices in the uniqueness of their Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic minds.

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Unlocking The Hidden Awesomeness of Autism

Mon, 10 Sep 2018 20:07:27 GMT

Unlocking the Hidden Awesomeness of Autism

The Hidden Awesomeness of Autism

Autistic people are awesome. They just sometimes find it tricky to let everyone else know that.

Their heads are often whirring with thoughts and ideas, and their brains are amazing at working in creative and unusual ways. When you tell someone your partner or child is Autistic many say back, ‘Well I bet they’re good at maths.’ That’s a bit of a myth, but there are many things research suggests that they do excel at. I’ve worked with hundreds of different companies over the past 20 years and encounter Autistic people in pretty much all of them. They tend to be specialists in their areas and very good at their jobs. The children I've worked with have all had at least one fascinating obsession or skill.

The BIG BUTS!

All Autistic people have an awesomeness but are not always able to develop it, be aware of it, or share it.

Two of the major issues are anxiety and overload. Autistics seem to run with their default anxiety levels set to high. Perhaps the processing, memory and connection differences in their brains make them constantly on high alert. If there’s a good chance lots of things make you physically uncomfortable and you’re prone to being overloaded, then you’re likely to be constantly worried and avoiding anything that might be unpleasant. Being overloaded with input, demands and information leads to meltdowns or shutdowns; the brain’s safety release valve and a way of making the world stop whilst they recover. It’s hard to feel fabulous when you’ve lost control and are slamming doors, throwing plates or rocking underneath a table.

Sensory processing issues mean that the constant inputs from the world aren’t handled very well by the brain. This distracts a person from enjoying what they’re doing, and often prevents them from trying something new.

There’s the usual culprits of touch, taste, smell, sound and noise, but let’s add to that mix motion, balance, time awareness, pain, internal sensations (e.g. hunger, full bladder) and emotional responses. Every Autistic person’s sensory responses are different. I hate spinning or going upside down, the smell of most washing up liquids and fish, wool and strong spices. By hate I mean that these things make me heave. Except for wool, I just scratch a lot. And it’s dead fish waiting to be eaten that I hate, not live ones. Autistic people may also be under-sensitive to some things, so might not notice input, such as when they’re full up, heat or pain.

Hyper-Focus Super Power

The ability to hyper-focus leads to special interests, obsessions and deep knowledge. These are key as not only might they be a career opportunity, it’s something to talk about, find a group of fellow devotees and be happy doing. Their brains are not always focussed on the right things, though. Your child who is a whizz at Minecraft coding, dog breeds or recalling every Dr Who episode probably won’t know where their shoes are right now. Short term memory and executive functioning don’t always work as effectively as we’d like. This means following instructions, getting ready for the day and generally staying organised can be tricky.

Some Autistic people don’t need others to tell them they’re awesome and don’t feel the need to share their skills or abilities with the world. Think opposite end of the scale to the selfie and social media obsessives who need constant validation through likes and swipes.

Others struggle to talk about their abilities as expressive language may be a problem. Finding the right words at the right time in the right way can be difficult. If you’re a little bit quirky you may be bullied or rejected by peers, so many talents lay hidden. I know one of my kids gave in trying to join in with group activities last year at school. He has a sharp, problem solving and creative mind, but lots of kids seem to think he’s a bit odd and ignore him.

The Tap Dancing Lion

Skills, talents and abilities don’t just fall out of the sky and land in our laps all ready to go. For some Autistic people trying something new can be like trying to persuade a lion to tap dance on stage. The notion seems ridiculous and the response fierce! It all comes back to anxiety or overload responses. We don’t all need to be world travellers, culinary experts and multi -talented superstars, but if you don’t try you won’t know. Something new for an Autistic person may even be a different brand of ketchup or table in a restaurant. I managed to coax my son into a drum lesson with a wonderfully calm tutor, and we discovered he has an exceptional sense of rhythm. If things are calm, sensory input reduced and there’s no pressure all three of my children will try something new. Trust is absolutely key to this.

Unlocking the awesomeness

Stretch and shrink the world as needed - imagine a balloon. Inflate it slowly, give it time to stabilise, inflate it a bit more, then let the air out a little if it’s overstretched. Take this approach when helping to develop their awesomeness and trying new things. Shrink the world by going back to something familiar and safe if they feel overstretched
Don’t force a new experience – if anxiety levels are high and everyone around them is stressed, then it will fail
Find multiple ways to communicate needs and skills – through words, pictures, email, texts, photos etc etc
Feedback doesn’t have to be instant - delayed responses give time to process what’s happening and allow time for decisions
Broaden your horizons – it’s a good hobby if it makes someone happy. Don’t dismiss a special interest just because it doesn’t fit in with your view of what’s fun or worthwhile

Poker face – don’t judge with a sneer or a laugh. Remember the world is full or weird and wonderful jobs. We really do need screw measurers, pet food tasters and worm breeders.
Be patient - my son’s annoying habit of cutting up bits of paper has turned into the creation of templates for spray paint art.
Be clear that it will be okay – let them know it’s okay to try something new, to find it tricky, to try again, to succeed, or to walk away if it doesn’t work out.

Awesome stuff

Just in case you haven’t been able to identify your own or your loved one’s awesomeness here are a few things that researchers suggest Autistic people may be particularly good at. I’ve included Acting as a common skill. Many Autistic people act throughout the day to try and fit in and be accepted. This is a real shame, and acceptance would be far better, but it does help create some awesome acting skills. If you’ve ever seen an Autistic teenager strop when you say no to more computer time or ask them to do their homework, then you’ll know they should all be in line for an Oscar nomination. Please note Autistic teenagers are just as good at being stroppy, moody and grumpy as every other teenager.

I've included this list as unfortunately many of these skills are overlooked or taken for granted in life but they really are awesome:

Pattern Recognition - Fact Recall - Super Focus - Original Thinking - Challenging Boundaries - Detail Oriented - Unconventional - Curious - Heightened Sensory Awareness - Strong Interests - Specialists - Creative - Acting – and a million more things!

by Helen Eaton

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Neurodiversity in the Workplace: A few essentials

Sun, 09 Sep 2018 12:36:24 GMT

A few essentials

Neurodiversity in the workplace – A few essentials

The words Neurodiverse, Autism, ADHD, Reasonable Adjustments etc are in common use in the workplace, but sometimes it isn't always clear as to what they mean or what is expected in the workplace. Here I'll discuss the terms, how and if they're actually diagnosed, and offer a few essentials around an organisation's responsibilities. We're slowly recognising that some of the world's most creative and inventive people were Neurodiverse, but faced misunderstanding and disregard on a daily basis. It's time to celebrate and embrace Neurodiversity.

Neurodiversity

This word is used to positively describe a different way of thinking, which is usually due to developmental differences in the brain. Neurodiversity is often celebrated as being important for creativity, innovation and success. It includes Autism, and the Specific Learning Difficulties (SLDs) of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, Dyspraxia and Dyscalculia.

Autism - Defined as a lifelong developmental condition. An Autistic person will struggle, to varying degrees, with social communication and interactions; understanding social rules and behaviours and predicting what is expected; have a strong need for routines and specific interests; struggle with processing sensory information and adapting to change and transitions. Many Autistic people, currently classed as high-functioning or as having Asperger's Syndrome (the terms are still hotly debated), have full and successful lives and careers. It's important to note that they're often hiding their daily struggles or have had to learn effective coping mechanisms. Some Autistic people may need care throughout their lives because they also have additional disabilities and learning difficulties.

ADHD - A behavioural condition that makes it hard to concentrate and control energy, actions and decisions. This can lead to hyperactivity, impulsiveness and risk taking. Medication is sometimes used to support chemical imbalances in the brain.

Dyslexia - Difficulties with the range of skills needed for reading and spelling, along with verbal memory and processing.

Dysgraphia – A difficulty with the physical act of writing.

Dyspraxia - A development disorder which affects fine and gross motor skills, which are needed for everyday tasks and movements. The person may appear clumsy or uncoordinated.

Dyscalculia - This means people may struggle to understand maths concepts, patterns times and measurement.

It's common for Neurodiverse people to struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety and the need to constantly mask or hide their behaviours in order to fit in. Many may be seen as quirky or have unusual interests. They’re often successful when enabled to think creatively, become specialists and work outside of typical boundaries. This also sadly means that they may be subject to bullying or rejection by others.

The Diagnosis

Not everyone who is Autistic or has a Specific Learning Difficulty will have been given a formal diagnosis by a medical professional, or as is more usual, by a team or professionals. Gaining an Autism diagnosis as an adult is a long and complicated process, and in many NHS regions there isn’t the budget to see every patient who requests an assessment.

For younger employees, don’t expect schools or colleges to have identified their difficulties. Education budgets are over stretched and awareness levels very low in some areas, so they simply don’t have the skills or knowledge to identify Neurodiversity and refer pupils to the appropriate services. There are lengthy waits for a diagnosis, sometimes up to three years. Mis-diagnosis and a failure to diagnose also occurs far more often than it should. Be aware that for Autism and ADHD, tests are observational and based on reported behaviours, and so affected by high levels of subjectivity. Some families don’t want their child to be diagnosed, either avoiding or denying the difficulties, or are reluctant to have a formal diagnosis given, fearing potential future consequences.

The demand for diagnoses is on the increase each year as awareness grows, but less than 20 years ago ADHD and Autism, particularly where seen as higher functioning, were rarely identified. The awareness of Dyslexia has steadily increased from the early 1980s, but less so for the other SLDs. Awareness of the names may be gaining ground, but not necessarily a true understanding of the difficulties and how to identify and support individuals. I have witnessed many cases of them all by being missed by school staff, family members and the individuals themselves.

It is currently impossible to estimate how many people have a Specific Learning Difficulty or are Autistic, and it is often the case that a person has multiple difficulties, for example is Autistic and Dyslexic.

Regardless of a formal diagnosis, the benefit of recognising and appreciating a Neurodiverse workforce is the full utilisation of everyone’s strengths and differences. It’s also crucial to recognise and develop a supportive environment for their difficulties .

The Formality of Reasonable Adjustments

UK law requires that “Employers must make reasonable adjustments to make sure workers with disabilities, or physical or mental health conditions, aren’t substantially disadvantaged when doing their jobs” (Gov.uk)

The employer only has to make adjustments where they are aware – or should reasonably be aware – that there is a disability. Under the Equality Act 2010, disability is defined as a physical or mental impairment that has a long term and substantial negative impact on the ability to do day-to-day activities. This includes all the diagnoses discussed here if they are severely impacting a person’s functioning, although proof of disability and substantial impact may require a clinician’s professional endorsement. Remember that they are referred to as ‘hidden disabilities’ and so often go overlooked.

Working in an open-minded, flexible and accepting environment will help ensure employers are meeting the needs of Neurodiverse employees. An honest and sensitive discussion about how to support them is the best way to meet goals and objectives, and to get the most out of your working relationships.

by Helen Eaton

Through her work ,Helen Eaton (MSc, PGCE) has gained an unusual and fascinating insight into both lifelong education and the workplace. She combines over 20 years’ experience delivering management training to the UK’s leading IT and Finance companies with a passion for education and a teaching qualification. Specialising in Neurodiversity she has worked with many families and professionals, promoting the importance of understanding and supporting Autism and Specific Learning Difficulties. Most importantly, she has a Neurodivergent family and rejoices in the uniqueness of their Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic minds.

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Neurodiversity in the Workplace: Social Expectations

Sun, 09 Sep 2018 09:33:01 GMT

Social Expectations

For years I had the feeling that the message I was supposed to be delivering wasn’t quite right. I would see in management books and training materials the team mantras of work together, socialise, share everything, become one unit, engage and connect . Whilst training team leaders on management programmes, I would hear time and time again complaints about team members who weren’t considered to be sufficiently social. Comments such as:

“He won’t come to the pub for a few drinks after work.”

“She never joins in when there’s a birthday to celebrate."

“I hardly notice he’s there sometimes."

“She looks irritated when people pop over for a chat when she’s working, but always interrupts others and says the wrong thing.”

“He’s rude!”

Let’s be clear. Social interactions are hard work. Knowing what to say, in the right way, at the right time and to the right person takes a lot of focus and energy in people whose brains haven’t developed in a typical way. Autistic brains function differently, and a key feature of the lengthy diagnosis procedure is identifying social difficulties. This means Autistic people won’t always respond in expected ways or prioritise their own or other people’s social needs. Every Autistic person has social difficulties – that’s partly why they have the diagnosis. It’s a good time to mention there are millions out there who are Autistic but haven’t been diagnosed or recognise that fact themselves. The challenges and behaviours are present with or without a letter of diagnosis.

The pattern and manifestation of these social difficulties varies. There’s a scale from the person who shuns all but essential contact to the Autistic extrovert who constantly seeks social contact. Remember that social contact includes not just conversations and relationships, but text messages, attending meetings, sending a greetings card, answering the phone to strangers, tweeting, buying something in a shop, and greeting a family member.

The Shunner and the Extrovert

The Shunner may intensely dislike social contact and believe that they really don’t need small talk and companionship to function effectively. They may, however, have been so rejected by society that they’ve abandoned being social. It you’re a little bit quirky, rejection can come from all directions and be overwhelming. From passing comments, glares when things are said out of turn to direct insults and declarations of weirdness. We can be seen to get it wrong through over-sharing, unacceptable words, unexpected emotions or mis-timing when to speak. We may sound different, perhaps monotone or with irregular pacing of words and sounds. Society today really can slam down hard and fast on those who don’t quite fit in. Society quickly forgets that it’s those who didn’t quite fit in and worked to a different set of boundaries that have created some of the world’s most important inventions and who continue to innovate at the highest levels.

At the other end of the scale is the Extroverted Autistic. They might step forward for every social engagement, be the first to arrive and the last to leave, but there’s a good chance they’re not quite getting it right. Socialising requires some very fast and very complex processing by the brain.

Simply responding in the right way to “Hello” requires these steps, plus a whole lot more things that the Autistic brain isn’t great at:

- Recognition a message has been directed at you

- Processing of the sound into meaning

- Identifying the person through facial features, location, smell and sound etc

- Identifying the threat level from tone, body language and environment

- Deciding an appropriate response

- Process the emotions of the situation

- Positioning the body, face and vocal chords to deliver the reply appropriately

- Prepare to deal with the response

Put all of that into a party situation and the difficulties escalate exponentially. Who to talk to? Where to sit? What to laugh at? What to say? What not to say? How to say it? When can I escape?

Autistic people are often constantly struggling with sensory input, such as lighting, the feel of clothes and smells. Most are running on constantly high anxiety levels, perhaps in a state of alert or mild panic, with thoughts and worries churning around their minds. Social interaction adds to the heavy load they are already processing. Some manage this well, others don’t.

Social anxiety is crippling, and it goes way beyond just shyness. If something is hard, takes a lot effort and isn’t always rewarded we may avoid it and become anxious at the thought of doing it. If it’s something we’re forced to do or persuaded ourselves to attend, having social anxiety increases the chances of getting the interactions wrong.

Ways to help in the workplace as a manager or colleague:

- Remember that many people come to work to do a reasonable job, get paid and go home. Not everyone wants to be a social superstar. If they’re meeting targets and no-one’s complaining all’s fine

- Think about the social demands you’re placing on the team or your colleagues. Are they necessary or just making you feel good?

- Encourage comfortable and positive social interactions and events that make people feel good about themselves. Being made to build and then fall off a raft into a freezing lake, hold hands with colleagues on an assault course, and then cram fully dressed into a hot tub with 9 other people to celebrate ‘being the best’ was not the most enjoyable experience of my career.

- If they’re not managing basic interactions, such as responding on time or going to meetings, explain why these things are important and find out what adjustments could be made to help

- Be prepared to give time for them to make decisions over social requests. Explain what’s expected and don’t force things if the answer’s no.

- Model appropriate social behaviour. Do you greet everyone (hugging is often a no-no!) in a way that makes them comfortable? How do you respond when interrupted? What emotions are your facial expressions leaking? We don’t have to be emotionless in the workplace but oversharing can be exhausting for everyone.

- Autistic people often have unusual obsessions and hobbies, as their brains are often great in specialising and over focussing. Show an interest and don’t judge. The most recent hobbies I’ve come across include ancient Greek Gods, the history of Samurai weapons and road kill taxidermy.

- Signpost to HR, Occupational Therapy or a GP if you think the person is becoming overwhelmed by their social anxiety at work

- And finally, find a quiet, comfortable low stress time to ask the person what can best help them. Don’t’ make assumptions, as they may well surprise you with the simplest of things that could help.

Always remember that what is socially important to you may not be important to somebody else. They're not wrong, just different.

by Helen Eaton

Through her work, Helen Eaton (MSc, PGCE) has gained an unusual and fascinating insight into both lifelong education and the workplace. She combines over 20 years’ experience delivering management training to the UK’s leading IT and Finance companies with a passion for education and a teaching qualification. Specialising in Neurodiversity she has worked with many families and professionals, promoting the importance of understanding and supporting Autism and Specific Learning Difficulties. Most importantly, she has a Neurodivergent family and rejoices in the uniqueness of their Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic minds.

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Post Apocalypse Bunkers

Sat, 08 Sep 2018 19:53:14 GMT

My children, all Neurodiverse, make me laugh, cry and constantly challenge my thinking. I hope you enjoy these short tales of highs and lows.

The Post Apocalypse Bunker

When I suggested a trip to Ikea to pick up some shoe racks this morning, Boy2 and Girl were a little more excited at the prospect than I expected. The drive to this flatpack superstore was light on prodding, whinging and name calling, but I thought it was just my lucky day. The usual compulsive opening of every cupboard, testing of every chair and rolling on every bed suggested all was as it should be. We got through the checkouts relatively smoothly and booked a home delivery slot. Then I remembered I’d forgotten to pick up the shoe racks, although I did now have 8 boxes containing a sofa bed and storage units. So, we went back through the whole process a little quicker and the shoe boxes plus a few other random bits that seemed essential in the moment were in the trolley. Boy flew in and then out of the lift, his sister trailing just behind, running to the far side of the car park.

Ten minutes later I managed to ascertain that his plan was to take home some of the spare bits of MDF and chipboard Ikea offer for free in the car park. Boy2 has decided to build a bunker. Just in case the world ends. He has coaxed Girl into this scheme by allowing her to be the ‘design boss’.

His brain sees no barriers to this concept. He’s gathering wood, there are tools in the shed and he has an accomplice. It’s all planned and he’s ready to start wok. He's filled me in on all the details. The recent obsessive watching of Canadian log cabin constriction videos on YouTube suddenly makes more sense.

For Boy2 words just don’t come out as quickly as he’d like. He is the quietest of my three, but the ratio of words to thoughts seems at times to be 1:1 million. The complex ideas and exciting thoughts seem to be trapped inside and struggle to materialise on paper or in sounds. So, when they do come out my heart sings with joy.

We may be returning to Ikea a little sooner than expected as in the haste to exit the building the small black recycling box and the 6 pink flamingo glasses have gone astray.

We won’t be building a bunker just yet though.

by Helen Eaton

Through her work, Helen Eaton (MSc, PGCE) has gained an unusual and fascinating insight into both lifelong education and the workplace. She combines over 20 years’ experience delivering management training to the UK’s leading IT and Finance companies with a passion for education and a teaching qualification. Specialising in Neurodiversity she has worked with many families and professionals, promoting the importance of understanding and supporting Autism and Specific Learning Difficulties. Most importantly, she has a Neurodivergent family and rejoices in the uniqueness of their Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic minds.

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

Friend wanted

Thu, 14 Jun 2018 17:37:54 GMT

My son doesn’t just want a friend; he wants to be a friend. On his behalf, I wish I could tell the children he knows and meets the following wonderful things about him.

He will be a good and loyal friend, be interested in you and your life, be polite in your house and play nicely with your siblings. He’d love to share his online Minecraft worlds with you, his plans for building a spy den for super heroes and his life goal of generally tackling the villains of the world. He’ll send you friendly text messages at the weekends to check how you’re doing. He’ll share the sweets he’s hoarded and hidden from his brother and sister; bring his favourite things to school for you to see and even let you borrow them. He picks up the rules to complex board games really well and would love to show you how to play too. He knows how to charm adults, particularly ladies of a certain maturity, who describe him as delightful and lovely, which leads to extra treats and attention and a good degree of leniency in many things. He knows where the fun stuff is, and although never actually in the middle of the trouble, always knows where to find just a little bit of mischief.

He loves rock music and can drum, with an unusual sense of rhythm and timing. He would make you symmetrical line drawings, and can freehand cut a piece of paper into your initials, a tree or a mask. He can see solutions to problems and detail in patterns many others would miss. He can do a few magic tricks, tell jokes and clown about. He is awesome at playing physical games, loves rough and tumble activities and could show you some amazing Kung Fu moves. If you’re stuck or scared he’ll help you climb that tree or get down that drop-slide and congratulate you afterwards. He’ll be proud of your successes and accepting of your difficulties.

Today he is crying in his bed because in his second term of secondary school he can’t find a friend. Lots of children have decided that he is different from them and that his differences are not acceptable. Lots of children declare that they don’t like him and don’t want to be his friend.

When I look at him I try and see what other people see and try to figure out why they reject him.

I see a beautiful face, strong even features, wide brown eyes and eyebrows that wriggle in wonderful ways. I’ll admit his hair is fairly boring at the moment, just sort of sitting limply on his head. He used to have a bit of a Mohican that he’d gel up, but he prefers his hair plain right now. He’s a simple jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. He has the occasional tick which means he may roll his shoulders up and back a few times, or gulp and cough a little noisily. He may fiddle with things around him, bits of plastic or paper, and he often has a great collection of screws, shells, or interesting stones in his pockets. He worries about everyday stuff and can get a bit panicky when things don’t make sense. He sometimes need a little more patience when explaining things, and you have to be quite clear in what you’re saying, not overloading him with lots of information or instructions as that makes his thoughts whirr and spin. He can be quiet in groups as, although he understands everything that’s going on, finding the right words quickly enough can be tricky, so he just listens.

He is Autistic and Dyslexic. Those things are not immediately obvious as he doesn’t wear a badge with those labels and they don’t cause people to come out in a rash when they stand too close. Both things simply mean his brain works differently to the majority, but it also works in ways that are really important for the world in terms of ingenuity, creativity and design. He needs some additional support in school as with all the noise and distractions he struggles to focus, and spelling and writing are tricky. He’s a really bright boy and understands and knows far more than most people realise. He’ll happily tell you what makes things a bit easier for him and how you can help.

He can be a bit stressy at times and look panicked and confused. That’s because some children do more than just avoid him, or exclude him from their games and groups. Some boys and girls seek him out as a target to humiliate and hurt. He’s often alone, there are no other children nearby willing to say leave my friend alone. He stands out as a solitary figure and some children abuse him. Yesterday, like several other days this term, he came home smeared in mud. He was walking a class mate to the school bus stop, because he said that’s what friends do for each other, when he was grabbed, a hand clamped over his month, then dragged to the ground and through the dirt.

As the term has progressed, he isn’t as jolly and smiling at break times as he used to be. Perhaps because during the morning he was yet again beckoned over by someone he thinks is a friend, only to be called stupid and weird, so that other boys nearby were impressed by this show of dominance and humiliation. Perhaps he was shoved into a wall again and is now struggling to make it to the end of the school day, desperate to be home and safe.

Those kind of things may well make him reluctant to join in with groups at break time, and hang back from playground games, and it becomes a vicious cycle he doesn’t have the skills or knowledge to break. When he is frightened in class his cannot learn what is being taught and he cannot participate. His education is being restricted by the other children sitting around him.

With a look to his future, I know that children with poor school attainment are more likely to end up homeless or in prison. Those that are bullied and isolated are more likely to have mental health issues and attempt suicide. I have fought for eleven years to provide the best opportunities for my son in an era of low funded, poorly managed and inadequately equipped SEN services and it terrifies me that the actions of other children may trigger such devastating consequences for him.

My son’s school offers a great safe space at break and lunch times, a nurture group, an amazingly warm and caring SEN advocate and lots of clubs and activities to engage kids throughout the day. There is a strong anti-bullying policy, but staff can’t be everywhere and see everything. Bullying is often dealt with once the incident has happened, the bully identified and ultimately the damage done

My son cannot and should not have to hide from other children. I should not have to witness his sense of impotence, rejection and isolation which can’t help but to lead to his anger, sadness and tears at home.

So I now turn to my fellow parents and ask you to think about your own child. As I speak of bullies, abusers and those that simply ignore my son please don’t automatically cast your mind to those you think of as bad parents, difficult families or the known trouble makers. Stop and think about your child. What values and beliefs you have instilled in your child. What social media sources are they using, and where is the pressure coming from to conform and so reject those that have a little spark of something different? What language are you casually using at home about people who like or do things you don’t know or understand? Are you making negative judgments about friends, families or celebrities? Are you without realising it shaping your child’s intolerance? Are you narrowing their view of friendship? Are you aware that they may be actively or accidentally identifying and humiliating those who behave or learn differently to them?

I don’t want your children to feel sorry for my son, or be a token friend. I want them to be broad-minded, accepting and kind. I don’t have to work hard to like and love my son – it’s easy because he’s amazing and I’m open and accepting of his difficulties and strengths.

As a parent I can be the first to admit that my own three children are not perfect. I could list a thousand silly, daft and deliberately aggravating things they’ve done over the years. What I have done is to actively ensure they’re not intimidating, threatening and excluding other children. I’m not naïve, so I watch and listen when they talk about how they treat other people, and I question and deal with anything that concerns me.

I try to teach and demonstrate resilience, acceptance and kindness. We do lots of stuff together; we travel, try new activities and have adventures. Over the years life has thrown many unexpected and distressing things at us. Sometimes we make mistakes and sometime people hurt us, but each time we pick ourselves up and we move on positively. My children are tough and know how to bounce back from challenging situations. All three could easily be described as naturally quirky, and so they need this resilience in part to protect themselves from other children’s spite and ignorance.

I’m incredibly proud that they are growing up to be tolerant and accepting of others. I know this because they have brought a wide of variety of children home as friends, even ones that have hurt them in the past and with whom they have worked it out and moved on. Some of their friends might be called challenging or have difficult home lives. Those things don’t worry us; the children just get on and have fun. It’s ironic that teachers often pair my kids up with the ‘naughty kid’ in class because they know they’ll happily accept and even calm that child down.

So I ask every adult reading this to really encourage the children in your lives to be tolerant of anyone that seems to look or do things differently. Tolerance shouldn’t take much effort; it quickly becomes acceptance and then the norm. It just takes a little mind shift to get started. The rewards of friendship, new opportunities and broadened horizons are very much worth the effort.

by Helen Eaton

Through her work, Helen Eaton (MSc, PGCE) has gained an unusual and fascinating insight into both lifelong education and the workplace. She combines over 20 years’ experience delivering management training to the UK’s leading IT and Finance companies with a passion for education and a teaching qualification. Specialising in Neurodiversity she has worked with many families and professionals, promoting the importance of understanding and supporting Autism and Specific Learning Difficulties. Most importantly, she has a Neurodivergent family and rejoices in the uniqueness of their Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic minds.

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk

The lost generation of Autistic adults

Thu, 14 Jun 2018 17:29:12 GMT

The first studies into Autism started in the 1930's, and were picked up again the 1980's so the notion is relatively new, although Autism certainly isn't. This lack of information and understanding around Autism means that alive today are many people over the age of 30 who are are Autistic but without a formal diagnosis. They may not even realise what makes them think and behave the way that they do. If they have a diagnosis it would have been sought out in later years, often after bouts of struggling with mental health, relationships or anxiety.

I often tell the story of Jim when I talk about the older Autistic generations.

Jim was bright, always smiled, and was great with mental arithmetic. He knew a lot about metals, and loved snooker and banjos. As a boy he had slipped through school unnoticed, dropping out as a teen and joining the family business. As an adult, he took the same route to work each day, and did the same stretching exercises every evening before bed. He always ate the same meals, alternating between an apple or orange for desert. It was always the same type of apple, a Granny Smith's. No friends ever came to visit, he never ate out. He rarely travelled, other than an annual trip to the seaside. Once a month he would visit his mom for a roast dinner.

He was occassuionally bullied by his brothers at work as he was unable to answer their questions in the way or as fast as they wanted him to. He was sometimes teased by local children as polio had left him with a curved, misshapen spine. All he would do in return was smile and wave hello.

He had lots of ideas and knowledge whirring around his head, but struggled to express them verbally, often stumbling over words, often staying silent. He had little common sense - his wife once asked to him to "sort the cupboards out” and she left him with a roll of cherry patterned, drawer lining paper. She returned home to find every kitchen cupboard had been covered in the cherry paper; the inside of the drawers were untouched.

As a father he was constant, reliable, devoted and proud. He always found the good in everyone and I never once heard him insult or offend anyone.

As his daughter, I now believe he was Autistic. I think socially and culturally at that time he 'got away with it‘. He built a life for himself with very few emotional, social or sensory demands. He went to work, earned money to pay the bills and came home.

However, the complexities of life eventually caught up with him. Aged 64, he retired, hoping but failing to find a routine in his allotment. He misunderstood his GP's words one day, and thought his hips were going to crumble into dust as he walked. His sister passed away on the day his first Grandchild was born. His world was suddenly overwhelming and he went on to have a nervous breakdown.

He died aged 70 from Motor Neurone Disease, never knowing the word Autism. He never understood that he wasn't wrong or faulty, just different. Never knowing that millions of people have brains like his and that it really is okay.

I share his story as I’m often asked why there seems to be so many Autistic children compared to years gone by. I’m now certain that many Autistic people have lived through to their 70s, 80s and beyond undetected and unrecorded. Secondly the complexity, expectations and challenges of modern life can push Autistic people to breaking point. If my Dad been a child today his world would be noisy, smelly and just too overwhelming. He'd be inundated with social expectations and demands. He would have to process the world at a speed, that even as a very bright man, his Autistic brain would struggle to cope with, leading to meltdowns or shutdowns. Alongside this his development would be monitored, his progress mapped, professional appointments made and he would be accounted for as an Autistic person.

I simply don’t know if he’d have done better or been happier as a child of these times. We all know the word Autism, but not enough people yet know what a marvellously wonderful way of seeing the world it is. They also don’t recognise just how hard the world we’ve created is for Autistic people to navigate right now. I can’t go back and change his life, but I can rest a little easier as I know he carved out a life in which he felt safe and in which he knew I loved him.

by Helen Eaton

Through her work, Helen Eaton (MSc, PGCE) has gained an unusual and fascinating insight into both lifelong education and the workplace. She combines over 20 years’ experience delivering management training to the UK’s leading IT and Finance companies with a passion for education and a teaching qualification. Specialising in Neurodiversity she has worked with many families and professionals, promoting the importance of understanding and supporting Autism and Specific Learning Difficulties. Most importantly, she has a Neurodivergent family and rejoices in the uniqueness of their Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic minds.

If you reproduce or share this work please acknowledge the source and the author.

www.heleneaton.co.uk

info@heleneaton.co.uk